insidesuzyssoul












Lipstick used to make a symbolic kiss.

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Thank Heaven for the Last Train

So, here we are again Diary; another day, another meet. And to think we were just about to give up on meeting couples altogether. It’s always like that though, just when we decide to knock it all on the head, not just one person, but also often a whole host of people in a flurry of interest, message us. Nothing much comes of it usually, but this time we did actually get to meet.
They sent us a lovely message, acknowledging that they were probably a bit outside our age range, and understanding that we were a soft swap couple and they had no intention of pushing us outside our boundaries. Paul and Sally was a couple in their late forties. She was apparently bisexual and attractive for her years. He was a genuinely nice man, although not the sort to make me think of sex. He made me think of my daddy, even though he wasn’t that much older than me.

My daddy… I fell in love with my daddy when he left after my mother divorced him. During my late teens I shamefully realised that I fantasised about him and kept a picture of him on his wedding day in full Teddy Boy style quiff and drainpipe suit. I used to marvel over his resemblance to James Dean and thought how handsome a couple my mum and dad made on their wedding day.
I was to be reunited with my daddy many years later. He had missed my adolescence, and when he saw me, I had transformed from a gawky pre teen into a breastfeeding mother of one, who bore a striking resemblance to his ex wife. Daddy used to hit the bottle quite a bit. It was one night when he had been drinking steadily while I was visiting him with his granddaughter, that he called me over to his side. “Let Daddy give you a massage” he said.

Paul and Sally had been together for four years and were committed to each other. I chatted to Paul on msn, and established that he was very comfortable with watching me play with Sally. In fact he had never full swapped before, but Sally had once. She was a psychotherapist, which came as some relief to me, as surely she would be relatively sane and aware of the pitfalls of playing in the polyamorous arena. I was so tired of encountering mentally unstable women in the swinging scene, so far, so good.
In our chats, Paul asked me if I was comfortable kissing. It seemed important to him. I replied that I always kissed the woman. That was very much a part of the bi experience for me. Kissing another man, on the other hand, was not so easy to guarantee. I told him that that depended entirely on chemistry and my mood at the time. I didn’t entirely rule it out, which I later grew to regret.
We set a date to meet. We had to travel outside London to meet them. We noted the time of the last train home, popped my rubber knicker strap–on in my handbag and set off.
Well the evening was pleasant enough. We chatted freely with them in a quiet bar in town and they invited us back to Paul’s home to take things further. I had made a conscious decision I was not going to drink, as I wanted to stay in full control of my emotions this time. A very wise decision as it turned out.
Small talk turned into an invitation upstairs to play. After all, we were on a tight schedule and only had a few hours to play before the last train.
We all trooped into a small neat bedroom upstairs and we all somewhat awkwardly disrobed. It felt odd and quite artificial doing that. Almost as if we were some kind of sacrificial lamb… gosh no that sounds too dramatic! Anyhow, I started off (as usual) by kissing Sally. She wasn’t very responsive. Oh no, not one of those lizard kisses again…Hmm? Was she really bi? Or did she just not fancy me? I really wasn’t getting much reciprocation from this lady. She seemed to cheer up a bit when Dexter came near. I’m not surprised really. He’s quite a sexy beast. But still. It really wasn’t the idea for me to just be there to loan out my man to some other woman. I had no intention of swapping my Dexter for her man. That was not a fair trade!

I decided to up the ante and see if the lack of response was just a false start.
I went down there. (Grey pubic hair, oh dear. Keep going, keep going.) Oh dear, seemed that this lady didn’t wash before she planned to meet. The feast I was about to undertake was going to be a pungent one. I’m no fussy eater, unlike Dexter, so I stoically lapped on. The response really was not forth coming. I knew my technique wasn’t the problem. I had been validated enough in the past. Then Dexter joined me. I saw him flinch and pull a bit of a face as he started. Lucky for him I had already had the lion’s share of pungency. We continued to kiss and lap between her thighs and she began to respond. Paul came over and touched me. It didn’t feel great, but I thought I better not show my feelings. I didn’t want to hurt his. I should’ve listened to my inner voice then, in retrospect. Then what I didn’t want to happen, happened. We split up into two male/female couples. We had swapped.

Nooooooooooooooooooo!
Sally seemed to be really enjoying Dexter’s attention. She was diving in for kiss after kiss and was enjoying his manual skills. Paul had his hands inside me. He was trembling, face flustered, breathing shallowly and rapidly as he descended for the kiss. I shut my eyes tight.

Daddy sat behind me hands on my shoulders. I felt his firm fingers kneading and circling my tense muscles. This felt wrong. What was the matter? It was just a massage after all. Stop being silly,Suzy. Then I realised what the problem was. The sound of the television faded into the background as I focussed on the source of my anxiety. His breathing; it was odd. He was trembling. He was sounding like a man aroused! His touch wasn’t right. This wasn’t right. I got up and ran to the bathroom.

I tried to shut out the memories of Daddy and the paedophile trembling between my thighs but to no avail. It wouldn’t go away. Something had to stop. I looked across at Dexter willing him to look at me and see my obvious discomfort. Sally was keeping him far too busy, as she sucked greedily at his cock. I battled with my discomfort versus my manners. I hadn’t said that I wouldn’t do this, so how could I stop it without appearing rude?

STOP!

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me. I made light of it.

“If you are going to do what you are doing Paul, you better get a towel before its too late!”
(Female ejaculation to the rescue; who’d have thought it?) Despite what most people imagine, it is very possible for me to ejaculate without feeling anything at all. I don’t know if that is due to abuse issues, but it can be used as a performance tool. Give the audience what they are baying for…

So there I was, 16 and finding myself making the trip to Bob’s house. Bob was a man I had met at the local bar. I looked much older than my years, could easily get in. He wasn’t terribly handsome, stocky, with a beard. He did have eyes that glinted, cold, blue eyes that drew me in.  Bob and I had an arrangement. We would party with his best mate who lived next door. They were both married. That was evident from his house, the frilly dressing gown hanging behind the door, the make up in the bathroom cabinet. So Bob, and his friend (can’t remember his name, just remember he was blonde.) and I would get on down. Do the dirty. Sometimes another man would come and sit and watch. Something didn’t feel right about him. I knew I didn’t want him touching me. He gave me the shivers. We met quite often. Once I felt unsafe and hid in the bedroom while they discussed who was going to do what to me. All I could think was I needed to get home because my mum will kill me if I don’t get home. I think I ended up offering special favours in order to procure my lift home. I think there were a few tears involved too.  
One evening we were going to ring the changes. They were going to take me somewhere. We got in the car and Bob and mate whispered conspiratorially in the front. We arrived at an apartment block. We climbed the stair,knocked on the door. The door swung open and we walked inside. There in front of me was the fattest man I had ever seen. I couldn’t get the image of Bluto from Popeye out of my head. The mixture of fear and surprise and the surreal image before me made me giggle.
“Masturbate!”
Bob and mate barked out their orders.
So I did. Thank goodness it doesn’t show when a girl isn’t aroused like it does on a bloke. I acted and performed like an Oscar winning When Harry Met Sally clone.
Good performance equalled safe trip home.
I got my ride home.
That was my last visit to Bob’s house.
 A few weeks later, the man who used to watch me, who gave me the shivers, beat me up at the pub where I met Bob. No one helped. He said he hated me because I didn’t want him. I hated him too.

So doubled over towel in place, we resumed the play.

I cursed myself for not seizing the opportunity to move over to Dexter. Somehow I felt powerless to change the order of things. I duly gave Paul the water feature he was so desperate to see. He leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, “Is it alright?”
What could I say? If I were to tell the truth his feelings would seriously have been hurt. So I pursed up my mouth and nodded my head in affirmation and hoped for quick release.

Darling Dexter saw what was going on. He introduced the idea of my strap on into the gathering. I could see that Sally was disappointed. She was more than happy with Dexter, a rubber dick could hardly compare. Black rubber dick to the rescue, I donned my manly knickers and set to work.
Needless to say, it didn’t go well. She clearly wasn’t enjoying being humped by a woman wearing a rubber dick. She was dry as a bone down there and complained of discomfort. Despite Dexter’s tireless effort to gee me on, the strap on was abandoned. The time had conveniently ticked on, and it was time to leave for the station to catch our last train. We all hurriedly dressed and left for the station. We pondered why we had been dropped off at the station a good twenty minutes before the train was due in.

Perhaps she couldn’t take that rubber dick any more.

Dexter and I both agreed, that was an experience not to be repeated.

They were lovely people, but definitely not our sort of bedfellows.

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Masturbation was depicted in 19th century Shun...

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The downside of Squirting

Another night, another meet.
Not that we had had that many with couples but this one should be successful for sure.
This meet seemed unlike the rest; this couple was as laid back and cool as they came, not at all pushy ,unlike most.
This couple’s boundaries were pretty much identical to ours. By this time we had changed our preference to soft swing/swap (for those who don’t know that term, this pretty much means that anything goes except penetration with the other couple in question).
This couple was also soft swing and very experienced, the type of people that wouldn’t dream of full swap so we didn’t have to worry about boundaries being pushed with them.
Their names were Andy and Dana. We had met them at swinging club that we attended on the first Tuesday of every month.
To be honest, they had made a futile pass at us before, but this time was different. They had noticed that we weren’t playing but just sitting back chuckling with each other.
They were standing by the bar checking us out then made their move; this time they were much more sure of themselves and were brimming with confidence. They’d be damned if they’d allow us to escape a second time.
Their straightforward approach won us over, they were polite and charming, the type of people you couldn’t help but like.

As we sat there chatting away, Suzy and Dana began to flirt. Suzy and I decided to invite them into the play area for a little innocent fun. This was most unlike us to do so, but there was something about this couple that made us feel at ease.
As we entered the play room we scanned the cramped area looking for an empty sofa to occupy, we eventually found one at the back of the confined space.
We began to play, the usual touchy feely thing, fondling and sucking on breasts. Dana had a wonderful pair of big tits, Suzy just loved them.
Quite a few people in the room wanted in on our action. One crafty dude kept sneaking a wandering hand in the mix.
Much to my surprise Andy dealt with this guy in much the same manner that I would have…harshly!
I didn’t expect that as Andy came across as a passive type of guy, but obviously not when you fuck with his woman.
Dana was unable to do away with her trousers due to the fact it was that time of the month, hence the black trousers. I doubt too may women wear white trousers when they’re on their period.
Unlike previous times, Suzy didn’t appear to be acting or pleasing, she genuinely seemed to be enjoying the moment rather than putting on a show for those who were expecting a spectacle.
This put me at great ease. This is all I had wanted really, for my woman not feel that she had to compromise.
Dana and Andy lifted up Suzy’s skirt, pulled her knickers aside and went to work with fingers and tongues.
Suzy was ecstatic; I was content with sucking on Dana’s big breasts. I’m usually not a breast man but they were nice and deserved attention.
It wasn’t long before Suzy began to wet the sofa. Dana & Andy were amazed and totally blown away with the results of their oral skills; two tongues on Suzy’s pussy equalled mess.
The more Suzy squirted the more they tucked in. They were totally infatuated with Suzy at this point; the only problem was they had left it a bit late to make their move on us as time was ticking.
Our playtime was limited. It wasn’t long before the DJ made it clear that closure on the night’s activities was nearing.

As Dana pulled down Suzy’s skirt Andy quickly suggested that we meet in at their place sometime in the near future. We thought this was a great idea so we quickly exchanged contact details.
We exchanged pleasantries and went our separate ways with a future meet in mind, it seemed both couples had found the perfect match.
As we made our way home in a cab we received a text message from Andy & Dana, the message read:

 “We just had crazy wild sex on an abandoned market stall, damn you two make us horny!”

That left a smile on our faces.
This night might end up being the last time we attended that club but at least we didn’t leave totally empty handed.

Back to tonight.  For the past two weeks we had been planning to meet Andy and Dana at their place in central London.
We had received many text messages from this couple asking if we had any special requests, our reply was simple: extra towels!
Suzy was always self-conscious of her squirting. Even though people were fascinated by it, the aftermath was no joke. In fact she had written about it on a site, where she dealt with the not so pretty side of squirting:

 I’ve been a squirter (more accurately, a gusher) for some years now. It first started spontaneously during very vanilla sex. It didn’t feel great, I was worried that I had just peed on orgasm and was on the verge of going to the GP to check myself for incontinence. 
Since then, I’ve squirted more and more, and now it’s become at times an inconvenience, as the bed is always absolutely soaked. We’ve tried towels on top of towels and plastic sheeting, but then it’s like a paddling pool. It’s not fun to splash in your bed. Don’t get me wrong, it can feel wonderful and it does make excellent lube and its great to slither around body to body once you are both covered in it, but I do think that female ejaculation is very overrated and over-hyped. It doesn’t help those women who aren’t squirters to feel good about themselves. Sisters, please   don’t feel inadequate if you don’t do it, trust me its no biggie. The downsides to squirting have to be said just to keep a balance.

1) Don’t let them fool you that it’s odourless… it smells a day later.


2) Not good if your partner shaves down there to be a squirter, it brings him out in a horrible rash!


3) Spontaneous sex outdoors, in cinemas, in clubs, forget it! You leave telltale puddles wherever you go and can end up with wet jeans… and so can he.


4) Squirting yourself /or him in the face is an instant passion killer, it totally ruins the moment, but you both end up in a fit of giggles


5) Oral sex(receiving) can end up being a no-no, not unless your partner can breathe through his/her ears and /or is prepared to swallow and choke and splutter and burp. Hmmm, not my man. Can’t say I can blame him either. As a bi woman I’d hesitate to go down on a squirter too. 


6) I’ve said it before but … WET BED. There’s nothing more annoying than having an earth shattering shared orgasm and not being able to just collapse in a blissful heap. Sorry, if you’re a squirter you have to change the bed before you can both relax. 


7) Others expectations … On scene you can be reduced to a sum of your squirty parts. No one notices you for you… just get fixated on the ‘squirt’. At first its fun to perform, but believe me it wears off really quickly.


8) Proof that you’ve come? Well no not really. I can squirt without even coming. When you’ve been doing it as long as I have, you learn the tricks. So all you dudes out there who think it proves your fabulous lovemaking skills, sorry to burst your bubble, but squirters squirt with or without your input.


9) Makes having safe sex really, really hard…. I can’t put a condom on! And I can’t aim. When it gushes it goes everywhere. Be aware of this all you safe sex people out there.


Okay that’s enough moaning on my part. 
Now I’m trying to find the stopcock to turn the damn thing off… 
No, that’s just a plumbing joke. 
Sometimes I wish I could just put a plug in it though.


Suzy  

Back to our story:
We planned the meet around the ladies monthly cycle, due to the fact that Dana was menstrual at the club and Suzy wasn’t, we didn’t want a reverse in fortunes.
Two weeks was perfect timing. Andy & Dana were clearly excited, this time they wouldn’t be restricted by the clock or club owners, not to mention wandering stray hands.
We met them at their local pub, which just so happened to be nothing more than two minutes away from their apartment.
We ordered a few drinks, vodka and cokes if I recall correctly, I’m not a drinker myself so Suzy decided to finish my drink for me as I clearly wasn’t up to it. I’m very much a soft drinks type of guy.
After, let’s say, thirty minutes or so Andy received a phone call from a friend; this guy was clearly also a work colleague.
Andy made it clear that he couldn’t talk at that time as he was about to have some fun, it was pretty obvious that this friend was aware of his friend and his partner’s antics.
Not long after that phone call Andy suggested that we make our way upstairs to their apartment.
As we exited the pub Dana pointed out the market stall they had had sex on, we found that very amusing.
We entered the apartment block, which was thirty seconds away, and headed for the lift, they were five floors up.
As we entered their cute little apartment, Andy offered us another drink. I asked for a coke, Suzy and Dana asked for pretty much the same as they had in the pub.
They had this huge bed/sofa on their living room floor, perfect for swinging, I guess.
As we sat down with drinks in hand we began to talk about the swinging club and previous experiences we had both had.
Somehow or another the Queen of Sheba came up in the conversation. She was well known on the circuit and Andy and Dana had obviously encountered her on more than one occasion.
They found her to be charming and confessed to have played with her at a party. They were shocked to hear that we didn’t have a nice word to say for her. They wanted to know why. Their jaws dropped as I told them our little tale….

It was a weekday; I was at Suzy’s apartment about to leave for work.
Suzy had been telling me of a conversation she had had with the Queen of Sheba earlier on in the day. It appeared that Suzy had become Sheba’s new favourite person, I wondered why?

It came to pass that Sheba wanted Suzy to hold workshops for women that squirt in a coffee bar in Soho. How daft was that?
For some reason or another, Suzy seemed interested. She truly believed that she and Sheba were forming some kind of friendship.
Suzy told me that she mentioned to Sheba that she no longer played with other men; she was solely playing with other women.
Sheba replied that Suzy should not allow pressure from me to sway her from other men.
Excuse me? Suzy came up with this idea all by herself, believe me.
Suzy reassured me that she had made this all very clear to Sheba whom then retracted her statement and told Suzy that she must be having some kind of crisis within herself and had to overcome it in order to move on with her life.
I looked at Suzy with amazement,
 “Please tell me you didn’t buy that shit!”
Suzy looked at me baffled by my reaction, she was clearly thinking of what to say next. Suzy replied:
 “But babe, she’s my friend and she’s just looking out for me. There’s nothing wrong with voicing her opinion!”
Suzy clearly couldn’t see the game that Sheba was playing.
A lot of people naively seem to think that only men play games.
Suzy was reluctant to voice her next statement but didn’t really have much choice:
“Babe, how would you feel about going to Essex tonight to meet up with Sheba and her business partner? It would just be the four of us; they want to talk business. She left me this voicemail, have a listen.”
I put the phone to my ear and listened to Sheba’s words.
It was basically as Suzy had explained but something was wrong. I gave Suzy back her phone and said:
 “She’s lying.”
Suzy asked why I would say such a thing.
I replied that she was stuttering and thinking off the top of her empty head. She clearly wasn’t as smart as she thought she was. If it was nothing more than business then why were we required to travel so far, why couldn’t they simply speak to you over the phone? In fact Sheba lives in South London so why couldn’t she meet locally?
Suzy was flabbergasted by my words. She replied:
“You’re being paranoid! What’s your problem?”
I was about to give Suzy the hard truth but for some reason I held back. I felt that this time around she had to feel pain in order for her to totally understand what some people were about.
She asked again why I was being paranoid. I didn’t give a reason. I just repeated my previous statement:
 “That lady is lying; I can hear it in her voice.”
Suzy shrugged off my words and asked if I’d at least consider going, as she couldn’t go by herself. I hinted at what my true feelings were:
“Why not? It’s just business, right? You should have nothing to worry about! Surely you don’t need me to conduct business.”
Suzy looked at me puzzled. She couldn’t quite understand why my feelings were so harsh towards this lady.
I left for work, saying I’d think about it, fully knowing this trip was never going to happen.

Whilst at work Suzy would ring every thirty minutes or so, she was trying to find out what time I was finishing work so she and Sheba could figure out between them what trains to catch and so on.
With my workload it was impossible to give an exact time. I never left the building until my work was completed, that’s just the kind of worker I was.
Another thirty minutes went by, another phone call. This time I couldn’t hold back my true feelings, I had to let them loose.
“Babe, she’s playing you for a dummy!”
 Suzy went quiet. Eventually she piped up:
“Why would you say that?”
I replied:
“Think about it, what does the Queen of Sheba do?  She’s an escort who promises her clients a good time. Not by playing with them but by convincing them that she’ll introduce them to the wonderful world of swinging and high society. She’s nothing more than a wanna-be female pimp/madame, all she does is get friendly with women in clubs hoping that they’ll show her client a good time for free while she gets paid for simply sitting back. Do you honestly think that she’d invite us all the way to Essex without sex being on the cards? If she really is telling the truth there would be four of us present: two men and two women. What do you think they would have in store for us?”

Suzy went quiet again, this time she was digesting what I was saying. She replied:

“I hear what you’re saying, babe but I’m pretty sure that isn’t the case; even if it was they can’t make us play!”
At this point I was thinking that Suzy had to be one of the dumbest smart people on the planet! Was she really being duped by this woman’s pathetic game?
I hung up the phone, I knew at some point my temper was going to boil over if I continued to talk.
Wasn’t long before Suzy called me again:
“ Babe, what’s up? Why are you being like this? I know you’re looking out for me but you’re being really paranoid right now!”
At this point I really had to let the cat out of the bag.
“ Suzy, I’m warning you, this isn’t a threat but I have to let you know what’s going on here. I tell you what, I’ll go with you!”
 Suzy seemed stunned but she was in for an even bigger surprise with what I was about to say:
“These are my terms though: if we reach that house and enter the living area and see more than Sheba and her business partner, there will be trouble!”

Suzy asked what I meant. I replied:
“It sounds to me that she’s setting us up. It’s an old game that I have witnessed many times as a teenager. Many times a certain dude would brag about a certain freaky chick he knew. Only problem when you brag is, that sometimes you have to back up your words with actions. That would often lead to the other dudes in the room asking to meet this, so called, freaky girl in person. Should the dude bragging wish to prove this girl exists, he would have no choice but to call the girl in question and ask her to come over as soon as possible. When the girl arrives she doesn’t anticipate that there will be many other people present. Now she’s in a sticky situation: the only female amongst so many horny men.

The other men present only have one thing in mind; they want to sample the freaky stuff this dude was chatting about. It’s now down to the main man to convince the girl in question to give everyone a free sample.
In the famous words of Nate Dogg: “It aint no fun if the homeys can’t have none.”
The young lady only has two options: either pull down her panties or walk the fuck out. Unfortunately very few were smart enough to realise the latter was actually an option.
For some reason I could sense this was exactly what Sheba had in store for us and I reminded Suzy about the previous party where Sheba had used Suzy to her own ends without even Suzy realising.
That had turned out to be the worst night in our relationship, I’m sure you can recap what situation I’m talking about, my dear reader.
Many people may have thought I was jealous or unreasonable that night.
What I didn’t explain about that incident is that at the time I saw a mercenary game unfolding before my very eyes.
Unfortunately Suzy was totally oblivious to it and I hadn’t the time or opportunity to explain right then what was happening

Suzy’s eyes filled up in recognition of that fateful night in question.
 I continued to explain to Suzy that Sheba was the type of woman who would try and make money or gain popularity off the back of Suzy’s squirting, hence the fact that she was suddenly so interested in Suzy’s life. Sheba wanted to be the big fish but didn’t know how to go about it, she saw other women as her ticket.
She had tried, with limited success to organize sex parties and had now resorted to poaching other swing club clientele by offering her services as a coat check girl at our regular swinging club, resplendent in her obviously home made burlesque outfits.
If she could convince attractive women to jump on board her project and then pull the wool over their eyes, she could then put them in very compromising positions. For example introducing them to her hungry clients of whom she was incapable of showing a good time, she wasn’t conventionally attractive, by any means. I told Suzy that I could visualise a good five to seven men waiting for her to arrive so they could witness the water works that Sheba had promised them.
If this prediction had become a reality I would have turned into Suzy’s worst nightmare, she would have witnessed the absolute worst aspect of me.
I would have inflicted as much bodily harm on every man in the room, not to mention Sheba! Someone would have had to call the police but I wouldn’t have given a fuck!
I continued:
“To be honest I’m quite looking forward to going now as I’m sure my suspicions are true, you need to see what type of person you are dealing with here. She’s a nasty piece of work and I will fuck her up!”
This time around my words sunk in. Suzy was now concerned, the teenage game I had described seemed to hit home. I told her I had to get back to work.
“We’ll chat in a bit.”
It wasn’t long before a frantic Suzy called me back:
“You’ll never guess what text message I just received from Sheba’s so called business partner?”

Suzy went on to explain that Sheba’s business partner had sent a message to all his contacts about an orgy that was taking place that very night at his place.
It gave all the information needed such as entrance fee and directions. Was this coincidentally the same night as our ‘business meeting?’ or was something more sinister going on here?
 This man didn’t know that he had inadvertently also sent this text message to Suzy.
What a clown! If only he had grasped what he had just done! He confirmed all my suspicions for me. The funny thing was, he was oblivious to the fact that we knew of their little plan. Oops, they had seriously fucked up!
All their clients and contacts wouldn’t be pleased when they realised there wouldn’t be a show for them to witness, they would have probably ended up asking for a refund.

I could tell by Suzy’s voice she was disappointed as the realisation dawned that her so-called friend had attempted to set her up.
She was also relieved that we didn’t get to go all the way to Essex as she was well aware that I wasn’t joking about my violent intentions.
Did Sheba think I was going to sit back and watch my woman being made a fool of? Hell no! I’d be damned before I allow that to happen.
As I’ve stressed many times before to Suzy, I know “GAME” in all of its forms, regardless of how simple or complex it maybe
When you’ve surrounded yourself with the kind of people that I grew up with, it’s kind of hard to miss.
Usually when I’m in the position of proving some one wrong I can’t help but say “I told you so” but in this case it was inappropriate, Suzy didn’t need the added embarrassment.
Suzy was very upset and much like me had no intention of letting this incident just disappear.
We wanted Sheba to know that she was well aware of what she had in store for us.
I thought it would be much better to just not show up and leave Sheba “red faced”, not that black people of dark complexion can turn red but the embarrassment would be too much for her to hide.
Suzy disagreed; I wasn’t about to argue with her, I’d already done enough detective work for the day so I thought I’d  leave the conclusion in her hands.
She sent a text message to Sheba telling her she had received a message from her business partner; she wanted to know whether the contents of the message were true.
Suzy was well aware of the truth but she wanted Sheba to squirm at the fact she had been caught out.
Just as Suzy thought, Sheba took her time to reply.
The coward, she eventually replied with an answer: “Yes it is! But let me call you to explain.”
With that Suzy sent a simple message, WE ARE NOT COMING, HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

We bumped into Sheba around three months later at the once a month swinging club. To witness this socialite of the swinging scene duck her head when we entered the room was hilarious.
Let’s just say we’ve never seen such a big woman move so quickly.

Andy and Dana shook their heads in disbelief; they found it hard to believe that a woman they knew could be capable of such a thing.
I didn’t want to dampen the mood any longer so I quickly changed the subject to something more light-hearted.
The four of us chatted along for the next few minutes, Andy was plying the ladies with drinks; at this point I didn’t see a problem with that at all. Three of them appeared to be fairly sober despite the volume of alcohol they were consuming.
Wasn’t long before the girls were kissing and groping each other; this was soft swing at its best: two women who were genuinely attracted to each other.
Both ladies undressed each other with eager anticipation at what was about to happen.
I chose to stay clothed; I wasn’t that comfortable with getting naked so quickly in front of anybody, I was very much a slow starter.
Suzy and Dana were clearly fond of each other, they were kissing passionately. As Dana came up for a breather she said out loud: “I’m such a lesbian!” We all cracked up laughing.
Andy got undressed and jumped on the bed to get tucked into the action; it was pretty obvious that Dana and Andy wanted to resume the oral tag team they had formed at the club.
Just as Suzy was about to allow the tongue games to begin, she quickly blurted out “TOWELS!”
Andy leapt up with a smile and ran into the next room.
He would return not only with towels but also with a large plastic sheet, they had clearly taken heed from those text messages they had received.

He laid the plastic sheet down on the bed/sofa and the games begun as I sat back and watched.
A full twenty minutes later and I was still dressed, I have to confess that I’m a slow starter and feel odd about leaping into action. For some reason I got the bright idea in my head to record what was happening, the room wasn’t brightly lit but I thought what the hell. I pulled my mobile phone out of my pocket, loaded the camera and began to record.
The film was no longer than five minutes but my footage was pretty good. Andy and Dana had a red snake light in the room which vibrated well through the video to give it a wonderful effect.
I played the footage back to Andy; he seemed well chuffed and asked for the video to be sent via bluetooth to his laptop.
Once that was done I thought it was about time I joined in the fun, I could see I was much in demand.
I got undressed to wandering eyes. Dana and Andy seemed excited to see what I looked like naked. They appeared to be pleased with what they saw, Andy especially. Or was I seeing things?
The main reason for my reluctance to play in group situations is my incapability to get erections, for some reason my friend doesn’t rise to the occasion in front of spectators.
Andy offered yet another drink, both ladies accepted more alcohol.While he prepared the drinks I began to play with both ladies with a limp dick in hand.
Penetration was never on offer much to my relief but giving and receiving oral was expected, I was hoping the latter wouldn’t turn out to be embarrassing for me.
I kissed, sucked and stroked as usual, Dana seemed to love that, she wanted my fingers inside her but Andy returned with the much craved drinks.
As the ladies sipped on their drinks Dana began to tell us of another interracial couple they play with on regular basis.
She then put rest to what I had suspected by telling Suzy and I that Andy would often play with the male half of this couple.
The man in question according to Dana was a very attractive black man with dreadlocks; I myself don’t have dreadlocks but can now understand why Andy was so eager to see me naked.
To his credit he never attempted to touch me or try anything crafty; as he was aware I was straight.
With all tales of previous meets aside we all began to play, I still was having no luck with my friend downstairs but that wasn’t going to let that stop me from enjoying myself.
Dana and Andy were really going to work on Suzy and much to their delight they received the reward they were after.

Suzy let out one of the biggest gushes I have ever seen since I’ve known her. Andy and Dana were soaked from the waist up.
Despite this they wanted more action. I thought they would quit there but they were only just getting started.
For the next ten minutes they had Suzy squirting all over the room, sometimes as far as ten feet.
Unfortunately Suzy can’t control the direction of the fluid when she ejaculates, it just happens to land where-ever.
What Andy and Dana didn’t realize while having fun is that Suzy was hitting the television, stereo and digital display they had on their mantle piece.
Suzy’s noise level began to increase much to our host’s disapproval; they did have neighbours after all.
They didn’t dare say what they were thinking but it was written all over their faces, they kept shooting nervous looks in my direction, hoping I would encourage Suzy to keep the decibels down.
They should have thought about that before they made it their conquest to make her squirt endlessly, surely they must have anticipated that orgasms involve noise?
What I had noticed was Suzy’s behaviour. She did seem to be totally ignoring my pleas to tone it down.
She came across as dismissive and quite aggressive, that’s when I realized that Andy’s cocktails must have been pretty strong as the alcohol was definitely taking effect on Suzy’s persona.
Suzy and alcohol don’t mix well at all, some people may say I should have kept tabs on what she was drinking but she’s an adult after all, she has to take responsibility for her own actions.
At this point I realized I had to take control of the situation so I diverted the attention off Suzy and put it on myself.
I grabbed Dana and went to work with my hands and mouth.
Andy really seemed to enjoy watching Dana being pleasured just as much as she liked receiving it.
She was moaning and groaning while Andy groped her breasts from behind, at this point Suzy was merely a spectator.
Sitting back and watching isn’t Suzy’s style, wasn’t long before she jumped back into the action.
She had been receiving all night and was ready to return the favour; I knew this would be a bad idea as she was in a very aggressive mood.
Dana had a very tight pussy so the most I could manage was two fingers at one time, anything more would feel uncomfortable for her.
Suzy wasn’t to know this; especially when in a drunken state.
As I was in the middle of pleasing Dana, Suzy attempted to enter four of her fingers inside Dana.
Now Dana had six fingers inside of her, bad idea! I could see the displeasure in her face.
She quickly removed Suzy’s hand. I knew Suzy was in no state to acknowledge the discomfort she was causing and would only attempt to enter with even more fingers second time around uninvited.
With that in mind I made sure I told Suzy to just leave it be for the time being and allow my hands to do all the work.
As I plugged away at Dana her big breasts jiggled up and down, thank goodness she and Andy weren’t a full swap couple; any man with a penis more than seven and a bit inches would cause her great discomfort.
It took longer than I thought to bring her to orgasm but we got there eventually, my wrists were aching but I thoroughly enjoyed the workload.
With that, play time had come to an end. If only you could have seen the look on their faces when Andy turned the living room light on; it was classic! It was hard for them to hide their expressions; they couldn’t believe the mess they had created.
When I say the mess they created that’s exactly what I mean! They couldn’t really blame Suzy for what had happened; as they were the ones who determinedly went out of their way to make it happen.
They scanned the room looking at the damage, wet floor, wet TV, wet stereo and a pile of soaked towels.
I forgot to mention the mantle piece! They were truly entertained at the time it was happening; they took great pride in producing great squirts from Suzy’s soaking vagina.
Now reality had set in, they had to clear the mess up. Even though they were a lovely couple, I didn’t have much sympathy for them.
As they stood there trying to hide the look of amazement on their faces, they failed to remember that we had warned them way ahead of time.
Not to mention they had approached us not the other way around, they witnessed the mess that Suzy made that night in the club.
They were totally fascinated that night and wanted a private show, now they had experienced it in full, glorious technicolour, they weren’t too happy with the aftermath.
Surely they didn’t think that the fluid evaporates into thin air? Oh well.
Judging by their body language they didn’t want a second round, with that I made my excuses and told them we had to leave as it was late and we had work the next day, not that it wasn’t the truth.
Andy seemed pleased that we were about to leave, imagine that! When they were oblivious to the mess they couldn’t get enough but when the lights were on, their mood changed dramatically, out of site out of mind, it seemed.
It’s funny how things work out sometimes. It’s not like they knew Suzy was a gusher when they approached us at first but it most definitely played a part in their eagerness to meet us privately.
To think it was the very same thing, ultimately, that turned them off, is ironic. Let’s just say we never got invited back to their place for a repeat performance.
As for Suzy, she confirmed my fears the next day that she was drunk, as she didn’t have any recollection of what had taken place the night before.
We received an invite from them around two months via text message to meet up once again; this time though, not at their place but at the once a month club. I wonder why that was.



{August 10, 2011}   Sauna adventures

There is a part of life that while not exactly hidden away, remains pretty much out of the public eye. Saunas fit that category. While most people know about the existence of gay saunas and all that goes on there, not too many people are aware of the goings on at the local health spa/sauna in your high street.

Suzy first heard of these places when she had first split from her husband. A chance meeting with a stranger at a wedding who was dressed as a highwayman (Suzy was dressed as an Eighteenth Century lady, it was a themed wedding) had led to a brief, but life-changing encounter. During this dalliance this dark stranger would tell her that she would have many lovers (something that Suzy found hard to believe) and that he would love to take her to a sauna where strangers would pleasure each other openly in the steamy, heady atmosphere. This sounded like fantasy to Suzy at the time and she dismissed the suggestion as mere over excitement on his behalf.
Suzy was later to find out that the stranger was right. She was to have many lovers. And these places most certainly existed.

To the man in the street, these saunas were places where health nuts and naturists would go to hang out (literally) in the jacuzzis, saunas and steam rooms. To those in the know, however, that was just the beginning. There was a locked door accessed by a nod at the receptionist which revealed a staircase which led to a complex of small cubicles (private massage rooms) that were ostensibly for massage and were limited to couples only. Suzy had been taken there a few times by men she had met on the scene and had enjoyed entire days of hedonism, punctuated only by the odd plunge in the pool to freshen up. It was a place for couples to meet other couples, to socialise in the jacuzzis and to take things further upstairs if it came to that. Suzy thought it was time she introduced Dexter to these delights.

It took a lot of persuading. The first thing to get over was the fact that no clothes were allowed. Only towels preserved modesty, but towels had to be hung up before stepping into the jacuzzi. Dexter was a very modest person. He had a great body, but was the type of man who would keep on his shirt even when the sun was beating down. Suzy reassured him that he would soon overcome his shyness once the initial step was taken. With reassurance that they didn’t have to stay if Dexter hated it, ringing in his ears, they both set off to the North London Sauna, just on the high street right next to a very popular burger chain. It was hardly discreet. Suzy wondered what the average passer by on the street would think if they knew what really went on behind those doors. They paid their entrance fee, picked up their fluffy white towels and pushed through the doors.

It didn’t take long before Suzy was in the jacuzzi. She sat in the bubbling water waiting for Dexter to join her. She felt eyes burning into her. She looked around and saw two men staring at her intently. Where was Dexter? As much as she liked this place, it made her feel uneasy and vulnerable to be by herself without the reassurance of being visibly spoken for. Eventually Suzy got out of the jacuzzi, wrapped a towel around herself to preserve her modesty and went to look for Dexter. She found him talking to another black man near the sauna. Dexter was finding the experience hard, and this other man was telling him to relax and chill out. Suzy went for a swim and left Dexter chatting.
There was a camera trained on the swimming pool that was visible at the bar. Suzy hadn’t realised it but everyone at the bar could see her swimming naked. She wondered why as soon as she went for a swim, the edges of the pool would fill up with single men. Dexter sat down at the side of the pool and watched Suzy swim back and forth. He felt eyes burning into the back of his head. He turned around and saw a large, short, blonde woman sitting in the jacuzzi surrounded by men, staring straight at him. Surely he was mistaken? Maybe she was staring at someone else. He turned back around. Suzy splashed him and shouted for him to join her in the pool. Dexter wasn’t really in the mood. Suzy soon had company. The same large lady had jumped in right next to Suzy and was chatting in a rather familiar way. Suzy immediately was on her defensive. This woman’s intentions were clear. She was making it known to Suzy that she fancied both her and Dexter and that she wanted to join them upstairs for some fun. Well that was the polite way of putting it. There wasn’t a polite way of declining  this woman’s advances. She wasn’t going to hear it, clearly. Suzy started to get irritated. If there was one thing she couldn’t tolerate in people and that was vulgarity. The woman’s name was Sam and she said she was a regular to the sauna. Suzy tried to make small talk, but this woman always steered it round to sexual matters. Suzy told her how she was bisexual too and was on scene and was a ‘squirter’. Sam looked slightly befuddled and then claimed to be a ‘squirter’ too. Did she really know what that was? It seemed to be an anything you can do I can do better type of conversation thus far, so Suzy wasn’t sure. Before I continue this story, maybe I should explain to any of you who haven’t come across the phenomenon of female ejaculation, just what ‘squirting’ is, and no, it isn’t piss! (Well not entirely)
The myths that female ejaculation is the result of poor bladder control, or excess secretion which sweats from the vaginal walls and pools in the back of the vagina to squirt out during the strong muscle contractions of orgasm, have been proven wrong. For decades many women felt it dreadfully abnormal and tried to hide or avoid it. Physicians in their ignorance tried to cure it. By questioning many women, researchers have established that about one woman in five ejaculates (through her urethra rather than her vagina), some of the time but not always. The stimulation of the G-spot produces both her ejaculation and her deep uterine contractions.

Okay, that’s the Science bit over, now back to the sauna:
Dexter jumped in the pool and Sam was on him like a shot. She grabbed at Dexter’s penis under the water and told him that her pum pum needed filling. That was final confirmation of vulgarity for Suzy so she thought she’d leave Dexter to it. She got out of the pool and went and sat in the nearby jacuzzi. After a while Dexter joined her. He was closely followed behind by Sam who plopped herself down unceremoniously a little too closely to the both of them.
Suzy was not in a good mood. This was not how she wanted to spend the day.
Dexter was very surprised at her aloofness. He had never seen Suzy behave with such animosity towards anyone before. Suzy ignored Sam as she tried to make small talk, and winced as Sam tried unsuccessfully to turn Suzy on by playing with her feet. Suzy almost laughed out loud as Sam thrust her stumpy feet into Dexter’s face. Did Sam really think Dexter was going to suck toes that looked like that? Suzy looked down through the bubbly water at her small, compact feet with carefully painted red toenails and smiled. She knew how much Dexter loved sucking her toes.

A middle aged black man with the most unattractive mouth and teeth that Suzy had ever seen came to sit in the jacuzzi. Dexter asked Sam if that was her partner as he had seen her sitting with him earlier. Sam vehemently denied it and explained that he was someone with whom she frequented the sauna .She pointedly remarked that he was definitely not her boyfriend. Suzy wished he would keep her busy and leave them both alone. This woman was really starting to annoy her. Suzy stood up, wrapped her towel around her, and whispered to Dexter that she was escaping to the sauna.
It was a relief to get away from that woman, Suzy thought, as she lay back naked in the sauna, the intense heat prickling her skin and creating diamante –like beads of sweat all over her body. This felt good. She lay there with Dexter and they chatted away, amused at the constant to-ing and fro-ing of the single (mainly Turkish) men as they spotted naked female flesh through the small cabin window. A few braver souls actually sat down opposite Suzy with their erections proudly on display. Suzy didn’t know whether to be flattered or saddened. Dexter shook his head at this pathetic desperate display. When the heat got overbearing and their bodies were running with rivulets of sweat, Dexter and Suzy showered and ventured upstairs after receiving the nod from reception that unlocked the secret stairway to the rooms upstairs.

They found a red painted corridor full of doorways leading into tiny rooms with just plastic covered mattresses and the occasional scruffy pillow. This was like a grown up version of Alice in Wonderland thought Suzy, except there was no need to ‘eat me’ to enter any of the doors. They selected a small room with the cleanest looking mattress, shut the door firmly and got down to business. It was important to make sure the door was firmly shut as they found out later…

The atmosphere in the tiny red room was highly charged. There was something strangely intense and exhilarating about being in such a small space that was specifically designed for sex. Suzy felt delightfully naughty and Dexter could feed off of her excitement. The muffled sounds of other people chatting and moaning filtered through the thin walls.  Suzy lay back on the hard rubber mattress and Dexter stood over her, his erection standing out strong and proud. Suzy feasted her eyes on this wonderful specimen of masculinity standing above her. There was something incredibly delicious about being prone and feeling submissive to her man. Even though Suzy was often the sexual aggressor and instigator in matters sexual, she so loved it when Dexter took control. It made her feel so womanly. He straddled her head and she rubbed his hard cock all over her face, drowning in his powerful aphrodisiac smell. When the tip brushed over her lips, she couldn’t resist the temptation to envelop his turgid member in her mouth. There was something about Dexter’s cock that amazed Suzy. It seemed to possess an energy that was tangible. She felt it throb and pulsate in her mouth as she carefully caressed it with her mouth and lips. She covered his dick with lots of spittle and used her hand in a vice like grip and masturbated him hard. He moaned and thrust his hips towards her face. Once he could take the teasing no longer, he pushed Suzy’s legs over her head and fucked her: with undulating strokes that drove Suzy wild. She could take it no longer and came with an enormous gush, spraying her own ejaculate in her face. Dexter and Suzy both collapsed in a fit of giggles. Then Dexter turned her over on her knees on the platform mattress while he stood on the floor. Her heart shaped bottom was just at the right level to fuck her doggy-style until she came, again and again. With a shudder and moan, Dexter arched his back and came too. When they had both recovered from the post-coital blackout, they looked at the floor. Suzy’s ejaculate was all over the floor and running out under a crack under the door. . They needed to do some serious cleaning up.

Suzy decided that she should go and get fresh towels from the bar downstairs while Dexter used the old ones to mop up the deluge. Passers by in the corridor were wondering what had gone on in their room. They were soon to find out…

When Suzy got to the bar downstairs, her heart sank. There was Sam sitting on a stool at the bar. She grinned at Suzy. Suzy read the expression on her face as a leer. She just didn’t like that woman. “Hey, where’ve you been? I want to lick your fanny!” Sam blurted out. Suzy wished the ground would open up and swallow her. Why did this woman have to be so crass? Suzy flashed a nervous smile and tried to walk as quickly as she could away from the source of her embarrassment, fresh towels in hand.

Dexter and Suzy spent an hour or so lounging around in the TV area, luxuriating in each other’s presence until it was time to go upstairs again. The lure of those stairs was too strong to resist. As they passed by a few of the cubicles in the red corridor they were greeted by a familiar voice. Oh no. It was Sam. She was sitting in the very room that Dexter and Suzy had christened earlier, with a few men surrounding her.
“Hey, sexy! Can I join you two?” she barked out.
Suzy really was tired of this woman
“No you can’t!” she said, her mood quite clear.
It seemed that Sam had got the message. As Dexter and Suzy retired to the room opposite by themselves, she clearly heard Sam as she hissed:
“Bitch!”

Suzy smiled as they pushed the door closed. They couldn’t completely close the door as it had lost the door handle but they thought nothing of it. There was only a crack of light visible at the doorframe. Not too much to destroy the illusion of privacy.
Suzy lay down on the mattress once again, legs splayed, inviting Dexter to get to work. And work he duly did, using his hands and a fist to skilfully milk her pussy until she was on planet sex.

Unbeknownst to our horny couple, the people outside the door were becoming intrigued by the curious moans and splashing noises they could hear coming from the room.
Deep in the throes of seriously strong ejaculatory orgasms, Suzy didn’t hear the slow creaking of the door as it was pushed slowly ajar. Not until she felt a sharp slap on her backside did she realise that they were not alone. By this stage she was past caring and she encouraged Dexter to continue his manipulations, causing Suzy to gush five foot fountains into the air. A voice cut through the sexually charged silence:
“It has to be piss…
This brought Suzy down to earth with a bump as she became aware of a rather large audience crowding in at the door. Dexter and Suzy stopped what they were doing and addressed their curious audience who were stunned at what they had witnessed. Suzy then held court and answered questions that were thrown at her from the intrigued crowd of at least ten strong. She addressed the comment that had alerted them to the audience’s presence initially, explaining that no, whilst the liquid that came out of her during orgasm, came from the urethra, it most definitely wasn’t urine and that she could empty her bladder before and after such episodes, proving her point. Scientific tests had shown that female ejaculate contains minute quantities of uric acid, but it was definitely not urine but the female equivalent of prostate fluid. It didn’t taste, smell, feel or look like urine either. Suzy pondered that Sam had said she was a squirter. The man, who had said it had to be piss, was her swinging partner. He had clearly never seen this phenomenon before.
Suzy and Dexter spent the best part of half an hour holding the most surreal question and answer session that they had ever experienced in their lives before.
What a bizarre afternoon!
Dexter and Suzy giggled as they showered together. Now THAT was fun!



et cetera