insidesuzyssoul












printscreen of chat room #pt.wikipedia in irc....

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Men Hey!

One thing I can say about the scene is that it never ceases to amaze me.

It’s been over two years since I started to explore it, and I still manage to encounter something new, and to think I’d seen and heard it all!

In the past when we used to meet up with couples we would encounter dishonest people more often than not. For example, we like to chat on IM with potential meets so we can get to know them better and gain some kind of rapport. As long as couples were aware that we were both present they’d be as sweet as pie but as soon as they thought one of us wasn’t present (in other words, me) their whole attitude would change.

Suddenly they would want to know if Suzy met without me. Obviously she replied negatively; then they would ask why she didn’t! As if she owed them an explanation! She would tell them straight that no matter what they said, they wouldn’t be able to change her mind. 
When they realised they weren’t about to gain any ground, they’d then get cheeky and say… “The least you can do is put your cam on and get your tits out!” Charming!

It probably wouldn’t surprise you to hear that we blocked and deleted people like that from IM. We have no time for ignorant people, and to think we were dealing with adults here.  Do they really think all people are as stupid as they are?

That was a usual pattern for quite some time, although every now and then I would be the target of the attention, which felt very odd to me.

Many white couples would proposition us for the simple reason that I’m black. The female half of the couple had never been with a black guy before and figured this would be a great opportunity to fulfil a fantasy before she got too old to do so. Suzy would refer to this type of couple as Great White Hunters.

The man would often push for it more than his partner, as he would appear desperate to witness his woman get pounded by a “BIG BLACK DICK”. They never even seemed to consider that not all black men are blessed in the trouser department. Luckily for me I’m sufficient in that department, unfortunately for them they would never get the chance to find out. I’ve always been suspicious of straight men that love to see their spouse pounded by a man or group of men. This really doesn’t make sense to me. Why would anyone want the woman they loved to be treated like a booty call or even worse like a sex-crazed piece of meat? In my opinion these men must have bi-curious tendencies and are afraid of admitting it to other people or sometimes even to themselves. Surely having sex with your own partner should be more arousing than watching someone else fuck her?

As time passed leading to the present, we began to notice that the trend of cheeky couples requesting for Suzy to lend me out grew substantially. We were receiving emails from all over the world and I do mean from all over the world!

We once emailed an attractive white couple from Maida Vale who on paper looked like a good prospect. Their reply was incredible; they didn’t want to meet the both of us, just me! The man was a photographer and he wanted to snap me with his wife as he said he loved the contrast of black on white but only if Suzy wasn’t there. He even had the cheek to ask if Suzy would be okay with it. The audacity of some people!

Recently we had a couple from Finland request for me to fly over and fuck the hell out of his Mrs, imagine that? There was a time when a black man couldn’t even look at a white woman without being lynched, now we have white couples chasing us vigorously. What is the world coming to? Hitler must be turning in his grave.

Here we are in the present, with a new agenda, since our last meet with a couple didn’t go so well. Our profile now only requests single bi women but couples will still try to convince us we should consider them, especially when we go on cam in the chat room. It’s flattering sometimes to think we’re so sought after although it can also be annoying sometimes; I guess it depends on our mood really. To be honest there are some lovely people that we get along with well but even they still try every now and then even though they know their chances are slim and none. Usually Suzy goes in the chat room without me, when she does she turns her web cam on, as do many others. Naturally she gets tons of attention from single men, women and couples alike. This is to be expected as she gets the same response when she out and about in the general public domain.

When we cam together people tend to get over excited, they seem to think they’re going to see some free sex show-we are sorry it’s just not going to happen. I’m quite a shy guy so my face is never seen on cam although they always request to see me. They seem to think if I have the courage to show my face then eventually I’ll show more, for example, my dick! There’re times when I go in the chat room without Suzy, obviously I don’t turn the cam on. Most people are aware that when Dex & Suze are in the room without the cam it means it’s just me, therefore only a handful of people say hello or chat to me.

Roughly a month ago I was in the chat room with no one really chatting to me, and then suddenly I get a pm in the room (that’s a private message that only you and the person that sent it can see) from a couple called Danandanna. It was the male half of the couple. I had seen them in the room many times before but they never said much, they just tended to display pictures and receive compliments. His message said:

“How’re you doing? Haven’t seen you for a while, fancy banging Anna again?”

That was a bit surprising to me. I reassured him that he was mistaken. He quickly apologised when he realised he’d mistaken me for another black man with a similar profile name. He then asked if I would be interested anyway. I said

“Sorry my man we no longer meet couples.”

He said, “No problem, the bitch doesn’t have to know!”

I was curious as to where he was going with this, so rather than bite his head off I let him continue: He said that he was always looking for dominant men who would punish his wife. He wasn’t kidding. The pictures he had displayed in the room clearly showed that his wife was a submissive woman, judging by the bondage and the vulgar messages scrawled on her buttocks.

I said, “Sir, you have the wrong guy. I’m definitely not a Dom!” He took that on the chin, said fair enough and moved on.

A few nights later, he returned to the chat room. I had displayed a picture and everyone paid me compliments, he was no exception. He said: “What a fine specimen of a dick! It looks real mean and would probably do some damage to Anna” Here we go again… I thought. “Thanks, glad you like the picture, yours isn’t bad either.”

Oh why did I say that? That’s when he got really confident.

Funny thing was, I’m not totally convinced he remembered our previous conversation, as he seemed to start from the beginning rather than recap. This time around he was a lot more forceful which was good as I relish the opportunity to tease and play games. He said, “I notice you don’t meet couples” I said, “That’s right Sir and it won’t be changing anytime soon.” I knew what he’d say next but I couldn’t resist hearing it again; this time I wanted to see how far he would go. He gave me the whole speech as to how Suzy didn’t have to know; in fact he encouraged men with partners to cheat on their partner with his wife! He said, “Read the profile it’s all there.”

Sure enough, there it was clear as day:

Seeking strong and extremely open minded Dom males Men needed who are not afraid to take control of her and more… ask Dan for details on what’s needed. Males preferred to be 30 and over and in UK, London area preferred. Discretion guaranteed for males with partners- no problem.

This man was no joke, I was wondering if I should carry the conversation on as it could get a bit deep but I had started it so therefore felt I should finish it.

He said “As long as I get what I need, you get what you need. I need to see her punished severely.”

I said “How discreet is it if you insist on pictures being taken?”

He replied “That’s not a problem. If you have tattoos I can photoshop them. I also have a range of masks and hoods that you can wear so you wont be recognised in the pictures by Suzy, the chat room or Anna.”

Huh?Now this was interesting. I was so glad I had pushed this!

I said “What do you mean by that, Sir? Why would Anna not recognise me?”

He replied ” The bitch doesn’t have a say in whom I choose to fuck and punish her.”

My jaw was wide open by this point. I learned something new everyday it seemed. How could a man do that to any woman let alone his own wife? The mind boggles.

I’ve often had elder black men tell me that no white man would ever give you something for free. “What has a white man ever done for you?” they would ask. In this case not only was this “white man” going to give me his wife for free, he was also going to give me lessons into how to cheat successfully and be dominant. Imagine that! Oh how my elders were so wrong! I doubt however, that this kind of thing would have ever happened in their youth.

He was anxious to know when I could meet with them. I knew this was coming and wasn’t sure how to get out of this game I had started. He said they were available everyday of the following week. That was the perfect escape for me as I would be having my wisdom teeth removed on the Tuesday of that week so would be out of commission for a while. When I broke the news he seemed so disappointed. I presumed he’d give up on me and accuse me of being a time waster. Not so lucky, he wanted to know when the swelling would go down, then he suggested that it didn’t matter anyhow as Anna would never see my face, so no need for me to worry about my appearance. This man was persistent. Every time I wriggled out of this game, he found a way to bring me back in…I guess that’s what I got for playing games huh?

At that point I decided to bite the bullet and end the situation abruptly… “ Sir! I’ve had a change of heart and have decided that I cannot cheat on my partner, it just doesn’t feel right.”

Some men don’t like rejection; they don’t like to think their partner isn’t desirable enough for a man like myself to stray. In an attempt to keep things sweet I told him that if I were single there wouldn’t be a problem.

He wasn’t hearing that at all. He suggested that I take his IM address so we could chat on the following Sunday night. Perhaps by then I may have had time to change my mind. I cannot lie, even though I’d been trying to squeeze my way out I was interested to hear what he had to say when he realised that it wouldn’t happen. I asked him why he couldn’t just find another. He replied that they didn’t get the opportunity to meet males often and had to compromise with meeting couples.

I said “Where’s the problem?”

He said that couples were rarely into extreme domination and couldn’t be swayed if they weren’t. With a solo male it didn’t take that much convincing. Once the man got his head around the fact that Anna wanted rough treatment, he tended to go with the flow and eventually enjoyed himself.

I asked, “Why don’t you continue to meet those same men?”

He replied that all those men were foreign! They had met them on their travels. He said that foreign men didn’t usually have the same inhibitions as English men and that they ideally wanted to find a young local man they could play with on a regular basis. I said that even if I had agreed to meet it would have hardly been regular as I had a partner, hence the couple profile. Of course that didn’t put him off at all, only spurred him on really as he said they were based in central London so it wouldn’t be hard for me to escape Suzy for a couple of hours two or three times a week.

It’s very hard for me to digest that a man would badger another man to cheat on his partner with his wife. As far as I was concerned it’s not necessary if you’re on scene, there’re so many people to choose from. If you can’t catch the interest of the person/people that you’re after then move on! There’re thousands of swingers in London alone not to mention the whole of England. What baffled me was how any attached man with a couple profile would take such a big risk by meeting a couple like this? Why would any man hand over such power to Dan? At any given time he could expose your exploits to your wife/partner and the whole chat room. Imagine the embarrassment and public humiliation! You’d have to keep him real sweet in order for him to keep his mouth shut. I wouldn’t like to be the man sitting down in the living room sweating on a Saturday night hoping that my wife/partner didn’t catch wind of what had been going on. I eagerly await our conversation on Sunday. I’m sure you can guess what will happen as can I, predictability is inevitable. At the end of it all I hope he doesn’t realise this was all a game I played out of intrigue.

If he ever reads this I guess he will.




Lipstick used to make a symbolic kiss.

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Thank Heaven for the Last Train

So, here we are again Diary; another day, another meet. And to think we were just about to give up on meeting couples altogether. It’s always like that though, just when we decide to knock it all on the head, not just one person, but also often a whole host of people in a flurry of interest, message us. Nothing much comes of it usually, but this time we did actually get to meet.
They sent us a lovely message, acknowledging that they were probably a bit outside our age range, and understanding that we were a soft swap couple and they had no intention of pushing us outside our boundaries. Paul and Sally was a couple in their late forties. She was apparently bisexual and attractive for her years. He was a genuinely nice man, although not the sort to make me think of sex. He made me think of my daddy, even though he wasn’t that much older than me.

My daddy… I fell in love with my daddy when he left after my mother divorced him. During my late teens I shamefully realised that I fantasised about him and kept a picture of him on his wedding day in full Teddy Boy style quiff and drainpipe suit. I used to marvel over his resemblance to James Dean and thought how handsome a couple my mum and dad made on their wedding day.
I was to be reunited with my daddy many years later. He had missed my adolescence, and when he saw me, I had transformed from a gawky pre teen into a breastfeeding mother of one, who bore a striking resemblance to his ex wife. Daddy used to hit the bottle quite a bit. It was one night when he had been drinking steadily while I was visiting him with his granddaughter, that he called me over to his side. “Let Daddy give you a massage” he said.

Paul and Sally had been together for four years and were committed to each other. I chatted to Paul on msn, and established that he was very comfortable with watching me play with Sally. In fact he had never full swapped before, but Sally had once. She was a psychotherapist, which came as some relief to me, as surely she would be relatively sane and aware of the pitfalls of playing in the polyamorous arena. I was so tired of encountering mentally unstable women in the swinging scene, so far, so good.
In our chats, Paul asked me if I was comfortable kissing. It seemed important to him. I replied that I always kissed the woman. That was very much a part of the bi experience for me. Kissing another man, on the other hand, was not so easy to guarantee. I told him that that depended entirely on chemistry and my mood at the time. I didn’t entirely rule it out, which I later grew to regret.
We set a date to meet. We had to travel outside London to meet them. We noted the time of the last train home, popped my rubber knicker strap–on in my handbag and set off.
Well the evening was pleasant enough. We chatted freely with them in a quiet bar in town and they invited us back to Paul’s home to take things further. I had made a conscious decision I was not going to drink, as I wanted to stay in full control of my emotions this time. A very wise decision as it turned out.
Small talk turned into an invitation upstairs to play. After all, we were on a tight schedule and only had a few hours to play before the last train.
We all trooped into a small neat bedroom upstairs and we all somewhat awkwardly disrobed. It felt odd and quite artificial doing that. Almost as if we were some kind of sacrificial lamb… gosh no that sounds too dramatic! Anyhow, I started off (as usual) by kissing Sally. She wasn’t very responsive. Oh no, not one of those lizard kisses again…Hmm? Was she really bi? Or did she just not fancy me? I really wasn’t getting much reciprocation from this lady. She seemed to cheer up a bit when Dexter came near. I’m not surprised really. He’s quite a sexy beast. But still. It really wasn’t the idea for me to just be there to loan out my man to some other woman. I had no intention of swapping my Dexter for her man. That was not a fair trade!

I decided to up the ante and see if the lack of response was just a false start.
I went down there. (Grey pubic hair, oh dear. Keep going, keep going.) Oh dear, seemed that this lady didn’t wash before she planned to meet. The feast I was about to undertake was going to be a pungent one. I’m no fussy eater, unlike Dexter, so I stoically lapped on. The response really was not forth coming. I knew my technique wasn’t the problem. I had been validated enough in the past. Then Dexter joined me. I saw him flinch and pull a bit of a face as he started. Lucky for him I had already had the lion’s share of pungency. We continued to kiss and lap between her thighs and she began to respond. Paul came over and touched me. It didn’t feel great, but I thought I better not show my feelings. I didn’t want to hurt his. I should’ve listened to my inner voice then, in retrospect. Then what I didn’t want to happen, happened. We split up into two male/female couples. We had swapped.

Nooooooooooooooooooo!
Sally seemed to be really enjoying Dexter’s attention. She was diving in for kiss after kiss and was enjoying his manual skills. Paul had his hands inside me. He was trembling, face flustered, breathing shallowly and rapidly as he descended for the kiss. I shut my eyes tight.

Daddy sat behind me hands on my shoulders. I felt his firm fingers kneading and circling my tense muscles. This felt wrong. What was the matter? It was just a massage after all. Stop being silly,Suzy. Then I realised what the problem was. The sound of the television faded into the background as I focussed on the source of my anxiety. His breathing; it was odd. He was trembling. He was sounding like a man aroused! His touch wasn’t right. This wasn’t right. I got up and ran to the bathroom.

I tried to shut out the memories of Daddy and the paedophile trembling between my thighs but to no avail. It wouldn’t go away. Something had to stop. I looked across at Dexter willing him to look at me and see my obvious discomfort. Sally was keeping him far too busy, as she sucked greedily at his cock. I battled with my discomfort versus my manners. I hadn’t said that I wouldn’t do this, so how could I stop it without appearing rude?

STOP!

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me. I made light of it.

“If you are going to do what you are doing Paul, you better get a towel before its too late!”
(Female ejaculation to the rescue; who’d have thought it?) Despite what most people imagine, it is very possible for me to ejaculate without feeling anything at all. I don’t know if that is due to abuse issues, but it can be used as a performance tool. Give the audience what they are baying for…

So there I was, 16 and finding myself making the trip to Bob’s house. Bob was a man I had met at the local bar. I looked much older than my years, could easily get in. He wasn’t terribly handsome, stocky, with a beard. He did have eyes that glinted, cold, blue eyes that drew me in.  Bob and I had an arrangement. We would party with his best mate who lived next door. They were both married. That was evident from his house, the frilly dressing gown hanging behind the door, the make up in the bathroom cabinet. So Bob, and his friend (can’t remember his name, just remember he was blonde.) and I would get on down. Do the dirty. Sometimes another man would come and sit and watch. Something didn’t feel right about him. I knew I didn’t want him touching me. He gave me the shivers. We met quite often. Once I felt unsafe and hid in the bedroom while they discussed who was going to do what to me. All I could think was I needed to get home because my mum will kill me if I don’t get home. I think I ended up offering special favours in order to procure my lift home. I think there were a few tears involved too.  
One evening we were going to ring the changes. They were going to take me somewhere. We got in the car and Bob and mate whispered conspiratorially in the front. We arrived at an apartment block. We climbed the stair,knocked on the door. The door swung open and we walked inside. There in front of me was the fattest man I had ever seen. I couldn’t get the image of Bluto from Popeye out of my head. The mixture of fear and surprise and the surreal image before me made me giggle.
“Masturbate!”
Bob and mate barked out their orders.
So I did. Thank goodness it doesn’t show when a girl isn’t aroused like it does on a bloke. I acted and performed like an Oscar winning When Harry Met Sally clone.
Good performance equalled safe trip home.
I got my ride home.
That was my last visit to Bob’s house.
 A few weeks later, the man who used to watch me, who gave me the shivers, beat me up at the pub where I met Bob. No one helped. He said he hated me because I didn’t want him. I hated him too.

So doubled over towel in place, we resumed the play.

I cursed myself for not seizing the opportunity to move over to Dexter. Somehow I felt powerless to change the order of things. I duly gave Paul the water feature he was so desperate to see. He leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, “Is it alright?”
What could I say? If I were to tell the truth his feelings would seriously have been hurt. So I pursed up my mouth and nodded my head in affirmation and hoped for quick release.

Darling Dexter saw what was going on. He introduced the idea of my strap on into the gathering. I could see that Sally was disappointed. She was more than happy with Dexter, a rubber dick could hardly compare. Black rubber dick to the rescue, I donned my manly knickers and set to work.
Needless to say, it didn’t go well. She clearly wasn’t enjoying being humped by a woman wearing a rubber dick. She was dry as a bone down there and complained of discomfort. Despite Dexter’s tireless effort to gee me on, the strap on was abandoned. The time had conveniently ticked on, and it was time to leave for the station to catch our last train. We all hurriedly dressed and left for the station. We pondered why we had been dropped off at the station a good twenty minutes before the train was due in.

Perhaps she couldn’t take that rubber dick any more.

Dexter and I both agreed, that was an experience not to be repeated.

They were lovely people, but definitely not our sort of bedfellows.



{August 30, 2011}   The Joy of Threesomes

Two female, one male, oral threesome sex posit...

Image via Wikipedia

Dexter talks about the ups and downs and complications of every man’s fantasy:  a threesome with two women.

I can’t believe this is happening.
I have two sexy women sucking on my dick. This is the kind of thing most men fantasize about but right now this is my reality.
I previously had a threesome a while back in my late teens, nineteen, I think to be exact, with two little cuties; one brunette, the other blonde.
Amanda was the brunette; we had slept with each other a few times in the past so it wasn’t like she had anything I hadn’t seen.
She was very much into me but she was aware that I wasn’t the type to be settling down with, as I was accustomed to having more than just one woman in my life. If it were up to her she would have had me to herself but she was more than willing to share me rather than not have me at all.
Emma was the blonde. I’ve always had a preference for dark haired women but wouldn’t turn down a cute blonde if she came my way ,let’s just say I wouldn’t chase them.
Was Emma really attracted to me? To be honest I’m not sure. I think she was more attracted to my street credibility rather than my looks.
Around my area I was known as a ‘Lover man/Gangster’. The first part I can understand as I was fortunate enough to have had plenty girls in my time, especially around this area but as for the gangster tag I had attained?  I’m not sure how that came about. I wasn’t someone to be taken lightly by anyone thinking to oppose me but I was hardly a gun-toting gangster. But who am I to dispute the title as the reputation I had struck fear into those I didn’t like and warned off potential future enemies.
As for that encounter with Amanda and Emma, let’s just say the idea, vision, notion, whatever you want to call it, was better than the real thing.
I had never been so excited and nervous at the same time. I had had plenty of girls but never two at the same time before.
Despite my previous confidence in most situations, I was full of anxiety. Would I be able to satisfy two girls?
Well, time to find out!
We were in Amanda’s bedroom when it all began.

 Now before I go any further, I have to say that I truly believe that in order to have a successful threesome, the two women involved should be bi-sexual or at least bi-curious. I now know this but unfortunately didn’t know it at the time. Hindsight is a useless thing isn’t it?

Lets just say it was hardly a threesome, more like “Let’s run a train* on Dexter” as both girls were apprehensive to interact with each other sexually. I had seen them kiss each other a few days previously; that was how they had got me to agree to this in the first place.
It started with Amanda sitting on my face and Emma giving me head. Damn, that was fun! I had only just discovered the joys of eating pussy. As a young black male of Jamaican heritage, you’re taught from an early age that eating pussy is something that real men don’t do, so I had put it off for ages. Man, do I regret that!
Anyway it was all going well at this stage, time for the penetration. I strapped on a condom then pounded Amanda from behind. Every now and then I’d take a look at Emma, I could she her eyes beaming full of anticipation. It was clear that she wanted her turn sooner rather than later and I was more than willing to give it to her.
After giving Amanda a nice pounding, it was time for Emma. I strapped on another condom, kissed her then laid her on her back. As I entered her, she let out a slight yelp. I’m not sure if she had had a dick as big as mine up till that point. I threw her legs over my shoulders and went to work. I love to penetrate deep but I could see that she was having a hard time taking my size so I resorted to shallow strokes. She loved that.
As she grew in confidence and became more comfortable, I could feel her pussy loosen up and that’s when I went for the kill. Here’s my chance to get maximum pleasure and do what I do best: penetrate deep.
She was being pounded and loving it too but at the same time I could feel some kind of tension. I looked at Amanda and her facial expression wasn’t excitement like Emma had exhibited watching us, it was jealously!
She tried to hide it with a nervous smile but I could see straight through it.

Do I stop out of consideration or continue? I’m so close to climax and Emma is enjoying herself, why should I stop? We don’t have any emotional attachments… Fuck it! I’m close to cumming and I don’t want this to end any time soon.

As I thrust I could see the bliss on Emma’s face, she was now begging me to cum so I obliged. Damn, that felt good! Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. I was just getting warmed up. Round two was just around the corner.
 I suggested that the two girls do a little something while I recovered but only if they were up for it. I thought Amanda might have said no but hoped that the jealousy that I had detected earlier had passed.
Both girls shrugged their shoulders as if to imply yes, then leaned forward to kiss each other. This was the kind of thing I had only seen in porn videos. I had always wondered what it would be like to see it for real. Now it was really happening right before my eyes.  
They kissed just like they had done in the park a few days earlier, then Emma began to kiss Amanda’s neck then slowly make her way down to her breasts.
The look on Amanda’s face wasn’t bliss, maybe she was just nervous?  I wish! That wasn’t bliss. That look was pure jealously and resentment.
It was clear from that point that she had regretted ever putting the idea forward, but she couldn’t blame either me or Emma as it was a situation of her own making.
Emma stopped kissing as she could sense Amanda’s unease. Now that was what I call an uncomfortable silence. What happens next?
By this time my dick had recovered. I thought maybe I should start round two but quickly realised that would only make matters worse so I said something real lame like,
 “Maybe we should get dressed before Amanda’s mum comes home?”
fully knowing that she wasn’t going to return for sometime. I had to say something to ease the tension in that room.
At that point in my life I used to carry a pager. It went off. Thank God, I thought. It was my best friend. The message wasn’t at all urgent but I pretended that it was so I could make a quick exit.
As I walked down the road, I thought back to the encounter. I tried to remember just the good parts but somehow the bad out-weighed the good.
Seems that kiss was a smoke-screen, as it was clear that these two girls weren’t at all bisexual.  Maybe I was  being harsh, maybe they were bi-curious but just uncomfortable to be doing it with each other as they were very good friends. I have to admit that I’d feel funny being stark naked in front of my best friend.
We were only nineteen years of age and this was the first experience of a threesome for all of us. Maybe we could try again? No such luck, as the experience seemed to put a dampener on Amanda and Emma’s friendship for good.
That was never my intention and I’m sure it wasn’t Amanda’s either. I guess being at that age they weren’t mature enough to realise that it was nothing more than what it was: just sex.  A single sexual encounter shouldn’t come between friends especially if all involved were up for it.

Back to the present, this gal Stacey took ages to reach Suzy’s apartment. In all honesty I didn’t think she was going to show up.
It must have been after midnight and she still was on the other side of the river.
It was damn near one am before she actually reached our neck of the woods. Have to say I had some serious butterflies fluttering around in my stomach at this point.
Now almost twenty seven, it had been a while since my last piece of three way action.
How was this going to pan out? Not in the way I’d imagined.
As Stacey parked her car outside, Suzy stepped outside to greet her. This was finally going to happen, no time for bullshit now.
As she stepped through the door I have to admit she wasn’t what I’d expected. Maybe it’s because she hadn’t really made an effort with her appearance.
Didn’t really matter as I knew Suzy would have her naked sooner rather than later.
Stacey was a caramel skin black girl with a size sixteen figure, very cute facial features.
Big breasts with a classic big ass, just the way we both like them, lets just say she was a diamond in the rough.
Suzy went off to the kitchen to fetch some tea. Stacey and I engaged in some small talk.
By this time all initial nerves had totally disappeared. I was beginning to enjoy this encounter This time around; I was dealing with two grown women and not two insecure teenagers.
Suzy came back with the tea and we all chatted for a bit. It wasn’t long before Suzy’s hands began to wander all over our ‘victim’s’ body.
Stacey wasn’t shy at all and returned the favour with vigour to say the least. Damn, she was aggressive!
I know that Suzy likes to be the aggressor when it comes to women but Stacey had other plans it seemed.
At this point I could feel my dick swelling up, to the ladies surprise as well as my own. I stripped naked and made my way over to the bed where they were playing.
Not sure what came over me, I was as horny as fuck!
Suzy had made Stacey aware that I could be a slow starter as I was often shy in these situations. They both couldn’t believe I was the first person to get stark naked but were clearly delighted.
They were very happy to see my manhood in its full glory. I had some very naughty things in mind and this was the time to act them out.
To begin with it was Suzy and I going down on Stacey. She enjoyed that.
It was pretty clear that although she enjoyed oral she was more of a penetration gal,  that was when things would get interesting.
At this point in time I had yet to purchase Suzy’s strap on that she now loves so much! I wasn’t totally sure if Suzy was cool with me fucking another woman.
She had told me earlier she was cool with that but sometimes people say things they don’t mean.
I couldn’t help but think that way, especially after my other encounter with the two teenagers so many years ago.
I had a lot more to lose if this fucked up. Amanda was merely a fuck buddy for want of a better word; Suzy on the other hand was my partner who I had fallen for. I’d be damned if a moment of horny madness was going to fuck up the best relationship I’d ever had.
At this point Stacey had begun to interact with me a lot more. She was bi -sexual after all.
She wanted dick bad! My dick was rock hard.
Before I knew it both women were sucking on my dick. This was unreal!
Even though we had planned this for the past week or so, it seemed so surreal.
To have two sexually aggressive women not fighting but sharing my dick was absolute bliss. It didn’t get much better than this.
Despite the amazing visual, I have to say that Stacey’s dick sucking was quite rough. I’m not a fan of teeth grating.
How do you tell someone you’ve just met that their skills are not up to par?
I tried to concentrate on the incredible visual and not the actual feeling. Suzy’s skills seriously compensated for the inept attempt made by Stacey.
Stacey was on all fours. Suzy went behind her and went to work with her hands.
At this point I knew that Stacey would want to be fucked. What would happen when that time came around? I didn’t need to worry. I wasn’t aware that Suzy had four fingers inside her. Stacey was blissful.
With almost a whole hand inside her and a dick in her mouth she made muffled groaning sounds.
I was getting turned on by the look on Stacey’s face but what happened next was something you couldn’t make up.
As Suzy pulled her hand out of Stacey I saw red, her hand was covered in blood.
Not just a little blood, lots of it. I was stunned.
It was hard to believe that this much blood could come out of her with no pain involved. She appeared to be in total bliss and her period wasn’t supposed to be due for quite some time, that’s why we had planned that particular date.
Suzy looked concerned. Stacey must have seen the look on my face because she suddenly turned around. Suzy had already wiped the blood off on a towel before Stacey could see the full extent of the situation.
As Suzy told her, I thought she’d be upset, but to my surprise she seemed embarrassed. She looked mortified.
She kept apologising, for what I’m not sure. At this point we all knew that the prospect of her getting some dick had gone right out of the window.
We all went to the bathroom so she could clean up. As she bathed she seemed to be amazed by the way Suzy and I communicated so openly. She kept telling us how special we were. We should have seen the signs by this point.
She dried herself with a towel and got dressed. We assumed that she’d have another cup of tea before she hit the road.
That wasn’t to be the case. It was around half past three in the morning at this point.
As soon as she had finished her tea she made a move on Suzy again. We were amazed by her gusto and appetite for sex. We seriously thought we’d found a gem.
She took her clothes off and went at it. I quickly joined in.
Lots of sucking and licking was going on. As she was aware that she couldn’t have any dick she was willing to sit back and watch the two of us fuck.
To be honest, she insisted we fuck. She wanted to witness first hand what she would be getting next time we linked up. She loved watching the smooth wave motion of my arse. She was licking her lips with anticipation at our next meet. As far as she was concerned she’d be getting hard cock as well as a strap on next time around.
I pulled out and came on Suzy’s stomach. Boy did Stacey like that! She began to rub my spunk into Suzy’s stomach like it was lotion. Damn, we had got a freak on our hands here!
Time was moving on swiftly, I looked at my phone display. It was damn near half five in the morning and I had work that same day. .
At this point she had got dressed again, we assumed she’d be on her way in the next twenty minutes, surely? Wrong again! This girl was like the Duracell bunny!
She got undressed again and went to work on Suzy.  I didn’t even attempt to get involved this time around. I was too tired.
Believe it or not, she didn’t leave till after seven in the morning. We should have kicked her out but I guess we didn’t want her to think we were lightweight or being ungracious hosts.
Wasn’t long before Suzy and I fell asleep, but to our surprise this girl gave us a call about an hour later to tell us what a great time she had had.
Bloody hell! Surely she could have waited until later?

The week that followed was an eye-opener. She bombarded us with text messages and phone calls. Initially I didn’t see a problem with it. As far as I was concerned we had found a regular freak that would come running anytime we called her.
You ask any couple on scene and they will tell you that that’s what they are looking for: a regular single bi female playmate. I’d say ninety five percent will never find that on scene, they can only dream about it.
We had found a real Unicorn and I didn’t want to scare her off, so I humoured her phone calls.
Suzy became irritated. She wasn’t impressed with another woman ringing her man’s mobile phone as frequently as Stacey did.  At first I couldn’t see her point. She was no threat to our relationship at all as far I as was concerned. She was nothing more than a fuck buddy, what was the big deal? As days went by and the phone calls became more frequent, reality hit me.
 She had more than admiration for the relationship Suzy and I shared, she wanted to be a part of it.
She was well aware she couldn’t have a one on one relationship with either one of us so she thought she’d plonk herself squarely in the middle. I love women, but not that much! I’d be damned if this woman was going to demand the same emotional attention and commitment from me that I provided for Suzy. That wasn’t part of the deal. If she needed a boyfriend she’d have to go elsewhere. We were prepared to give her good sex and conversation but that was it. We didn’t have anything more to offer her, or any other single bi gal that came our way.
She asked to meet us on Christmas Eve; my answer was a blunt NO! She got the message at that point.

She didn’t call back for ages. Shame really, as we did like her, but her emotional demands were far too excessive for the likes of us.
She called me quite sometime later, must have been a good five months later. She was well aware that she had to cool it with the phone calls.
We didn’t talk sex at all. I wouldn’t allow the conversation to go that route. By then, Suzy and I had made up our minds that we wouldn’t be meeting her again.
We spoke about life in general before I cut the conversation off completely. No more than two minutes after I had terminated our chat, she sent a text message:
 Damn you’re sexy. Whenever the two of you want round two just call and I’ll come running!
If only she knew we’d never call.

* ‘run a train’ = gang bang, many people taking turns in having sex with one person.




Masturbation was depicted in 19th century Shun...

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The downside of Squirting

Another night, another meet.
Not that we had had that many with couples but this one should be successful for sure.
This meet seemed unlike the rest; this couple was as laid back and cool as they came, not at all pushy ,unlike most.
This couple’s boundaries were pretty much identical to ours. By this time we had changed our preference to soft swing/swap (for those who don’t know that term, this pretty much means that anything goes except penetration with the other couple in question).
This couple was also soft swing and very experienced, the type of people that wouldn’t dream of full swap so we didn’t have to worry about boundaries being pushed with them.
Their names were Andy and Dana. We had met them at swinging club that we attended on the first Tuesday of every month.
To be honest, they had made a futile pass at us before, but this time was different. They had noticed that we weren’t playing but just sitting back chuckling with each other.
They were standing by the bar checking us out then made their move; this time they were much more sure of themselves and were brimming with confidence. They’d be damned if they’d allow us to escape a second time.
Their straightforward approach won us over, they were polite and charming, the type of people you couldn’t help but like.

As we sat there chatting away, Suzy and Dana began to flirt. Suzy and I decided to invite them into the play area for a little innocent fun. This was most unlike us to do so, but there was something about this couple that made us feel at ease.
As we entered the play room we scanned the cramped area looking for an empty sofa to occupy, we eventually found one at the back of the confined space.
We began to play, the usual touchy feely thing, fondling and sucking on breasts. Dana had a wonderful pair of big tits, Suzy just loved them.
Quite a few people in the room wanted in on our action. One crafty dude kept sneaking a wandering hand in the mix.
Much to my surprise Andy dealt with this guy in much the same manner that I would have…harshly!
I didn’t expect that as Andy came across as a passive type of guy, but obviously not when you fuck with his woman.
Dana was unable to do away with her trousers due to the fact it was that time of the month, hence the black trousers. I doubt too may women wear white trousers when they’re on their period.
Unlike previous times, Suzy didn’t appear to be acting or pleasing, she genuinely seemed to be enjoying the moment rather than putting on a show for those who were expecting a spectacle.
This put me at great ease. This is all I had wanted really, for my woman not feel that she had to compromise.
Dana and Andy lifted up Suzy’s skirt, pulled her knickers aside and went to work with fingers and tongues.
Suzy was ecstatic; I was content with sucking on Dana’s big breasts. I’m usually not a breast man but they were nice and deserved attention.
It wasn’t long before Suzy began to wet the sofa. Dana & Andy were amazed and totally blown away with the results of their oral skills; two tongues on Suzy’s pussy equalled mess.
The more Suzy squirted the more they tucked in. They were totally infatuated with Suzy at this point; the only problem was they had left it a bit late to make their move on us as time was ticking.
Our playtime was limited. It wasn’t long before the DJ made it clear that closure on the night’s activities was nearing.

As Dana pulled down Suzy’s skirt Andy quickly suggested that we meet in at their place sometime in the near future. We thought this was a great idea so we quickly exchanged contact details.
We exchanged pleasantries and went our separate ways with a future meet in mind, it seemed both couples had found the perfect match.
As we made our way home in a cab we received a text message from Andy & Dana, the message read:

 “We just had crazy wild sex on an abandoned market stall, damn you two make us horny!”

That left a smile on our faces.
This night might end up being the last time we attended that club but at least we didn’t leave totally empty handed.

Back to tonight.  For the past two weeks we had been planning to meet Andy and Dana at their place in central London.
We had received many text messages from this couple asking if we had any special requests, our reply was simple: extra towels!
Suzy was always self-conscious of her squirting. Even though people were fascinated by it, the aftermath was no joke. In fact she had written about it on a site, where she dealt with the not so pretty side of squirting:

 I’ve been a squirter (more accurately, a gusher) for some years now. It first started spontaneously during very vanilla sex. It didn’t feel great, I was worried that I had just peed on orgasm and was on the verge of going to the GP to check myself for incontinence. 
Since then, I’ve squirted more and more, and now it’s become at times an inconvenience, as the bed is always absolutely soaked. We’ve tried towels on top of towels and plastic sheeting, but then it’s like a paddling pool. It’s not fun to splash in your bed. Don’t get me wrong, it can feel wonderful and it does make excellent lube and its great to slither around body to body once you are both covered in it, but I do think that female ejaculation is very overrated and over-hyped. It doesn’t help those women who aren’t squirters to feel good about themselves. Sisters, please   don’t feel inadequate if you don’t do it, trust me its no biggie. The downsides to squirting have to be said just to keep a balance.

1) Don’t let them fool you that it’s odourless… it smells a day later.


2) Not good if your partner shaves down there to be a squirter, it brings him out in a horrible rash!


3) Spontaneous sex outdoors, in cinemas, in clubs, forget it! You leave telltale puddles wherever you go and can end up with wet jeans… and so can he.


4) Squirting yourself /or him in the face is an instant passion killer, it totally ruins the moment, but you both end up in a fit of giggles


5) Oral sex(receiving) can end up being a no-no, not unless your partner can breathe through his/her ears and /or is prepared to swallow and choke and splutter and burp. Hmmm, not my man. Can’t say I can blame him either. As a bi woman I’d hesitate to go down on a squirter too. 


6) I’ve said it before but … WET BED. There’s nothing more annoying than having an earth shattering shared orgasm and not being able to just collapse in a blissful heap. Sorry, if you’re a squirter you have to change the bed before you can both relax. 


7) Others expectations … On scene you can be reduced to a sum of your squirty parts. No one notices you for you… just get fixated on the ‘squirt’. At first its fun to perform, but believe me it wears off really quickly.


8) Proof that you’ve come? Well no not really. I can squirt without even coming. When you’ve been doing it as long as I have, you learn the tricks. So all you dudes out there who think it proves your fabulous lovemaking skills, sorry to burst your bubble, but squirters squirt with or without your input.


9) Makes having safe sex really, really hard…. I can’t put a condom on! And I can’t aim. When it gushes it goes everywhere. Be aware of this all you safe sex people out there.


Okay that’s enough moaning on my part. 
Now I’m trying to find the stopcock to turn the damn thing off… 
No, that’s just a plumbing joke. 
Sometimes I wish I could just put a plug in it though.


Suzy  

Back to our story:
We planned the meet around the ladies monthly cycle, due to the fact that Dana was menstrual at the club and Suzy wasn’t, we didn’t want a reverse in fortunes.
Two weeks was perfect timing. Andy & Dana were clearly excited, this time they wouldn’t be restricted by the clock or club owners, not to mention wandering stray hands.
We met them at their local pub, which just so happened to be nothing more than two minutes away from their apartment.
We ordered a few drinks, vodka and cokes if I recall correctly, I’m not a drinker myself so Suzy decided to finish my drink for me as I clearly wasn’t up to it. I’m very much a soft drinks type of guy.
After, let’s say, thirty minutes or so Andy received a phone call from a friend; this guy was clearly also a work colleague.
Andy made it clear that he couldn’t talk at that time as he was about to have some fun, it was pretty obvious that this friend was aware of his friend and his partner’s antics.
Not long after that phone call Andy suggested that we make our way upstairs to their apartment.
As we exited the pub Dana pointed out the market stall they had had sex on, we found that very amusing.
We entered the apartment block, which was thirty seconds away, and headed for the lift, they were five floors up.
As we entered their cute little apartment, Andy offered us another drink. I asked for a coke, Suzy and Dana asked for pretty much the same as they had in the pub.
They had this huge bed/sofa on their living room floor, perfect for swinging, I guess.
As we sat down with drinks in hand we began to talk about the swinging club and previous experiences we had both had.
Somehow or another the Queen of Sheba came up in the conversation. She was well known on the circuit and Andy and Dana had obviously encountered her on more than one occasion.
They found her to be charming and confessed to have played with her at a party. They were shocked to hear that we didn’t have a nice word to say for her. They wanted to know why. Their jaws dropped as I told them our little tale….

It was a weekday; I was at Suzy’s apartment about to leave for work.
Suzy had been telling me of a conversation she had had with the Queen of Sheba earlier on in the day. It appeared that Suzy had become Sheba’s new favourite person, I wondered why?

It came to pass that Sheba wanted Suzy to hold workshops for women that squirt in a coffee bar in Soho. How daft was that?
For some reason or another, Suzy seemed interested. She truly believed that she and Sheba were forming some kind of friendship.
Suzy told me that she mentioned to Sheba that she no longer played with other men; she was solely playing with other women.
Sheba replied that Suzy should not allow pressure from me to sway her from other men.
Excuse me? Suzy came up with this idea all by herself, believe me.
Suzy reassured me that she had made this all very clear to Sheba whom then retracted her statement and told Suzy that she must be having some kind of crisis within herself and had to overcome it in order to move on with her life.
I looked at Suzy with amazement,
 “Please tell me you didn’t buy that shit!”
Suzy looked at me baffled by my reaction, she was clearly thinking of what to say next. Suzy replied:
 “But babe, she’s my friend and she’s just looking out for me. There’s nothing wrong with voicing her opinion!”
Suzy clearly couldn’t see the game that Sheba was playing.
A lot of people naively seem to think that only men play games.
Suzy was reluctant to voice her next statement but didn’t really have much choice:
“Babe, how would you feel about going to Essex tonight to meet up with Sheba and her business partner? It would just be the four of us; they want to talk business. She left me this voicemail, have a listen.”
I put the phone to my ear and listened to Sheba’s words.
It was basically as Suzy had explained but something was wrong. I gave Suzy back her phone and said:
 “She’s lying.”
Suzy asked why I would say such a thing.
I replied that she was stuttering and thinking off the top of her empty head. She clearly wasn’t as smart as she thought she was. If it was nothing more than business then why were we required to travel so far, why couldn’t they simply speak to you over the phone? In fact Sheba lives in South London so why couldn’t she meet locally?
Suzy was flabbergasted by my words. She replied:
“You’re being paranoid! What’s your problem?”
I was about to give Suzy the hard truth but for some reason I held back. I felt that this time around she had to feel pain in order for her to totally understand what some people were about.
She asked again why I was being paranoid. I didn’t give a reason. I just repeated my previous statement:
 “That lady is lying; I can hear it in her voice.”
Suzy shrugged off my words and asked if I’d at least consider going, as she couldn’t go by herself. I hinted at what my true feelings were:
“Why not? It’s just business, right? You should have nothing to worry about! Surely you don’t need me to conduct business.”
Suzy looked at me puzzled. She couldn’t quite understand why my feelings were so harsh towards this lady.
I left for work, saying I’d think about it, fully knowing this trip was never going to happen.

Whilst at work Suzy would ring every thirty minutes or so, she was trying to find out what time I was finishing work so she and Sheba could figure out between them what trains to catch and so on.
With my workload it was impossible to give an exact time. I never left the building until my work was completed, that’s just the kind of worker I was.
Another thirty minutes went by, another phone call. This time I couldn’t hold back my true feelings, I had to let them loose.
“Babe, she’s playing you for a dummy!”
 Suzy went quiet. Eventually she piped up:
“Why would you say that?”
I replied:
“Think about it, what does the Queen of Sheba do?  She’s an escort who promises her clients a good time. Not by playing with them but by convincing them that she’ll introduce them to the wonderful world of swinging and high society. She’s nothing more than a wanna-be female pimp/madame, all she does is get friendly with women in clubs hoping that they’ll show her client a good time for free while she gets paid for simply sitting back. Do you honestly think that she’d invite us all the way to Essex without sex being on the cards? If she really is telling the truth there would be four of us present: two men and two women. What do you think they would have in store for us?”

Suzy went quiet again, this time she was digesting what I was saying. She replied:

“I hear what you’re saying, babe but I’m pretty sure that isn’t the case; even if it was they can’t make us play!”
At this point I was thinking that Suzy had to be one of the dumbest smart people on the planet! Was she really being duped by this woman’s pathetic game?
I hung up the phone, I knew at some point my temper was going to boil over if I continued to talk.
Wasn’t long before Suzy called me again:
“ Babe, what’s up? Why are you being like this? I know you’re looking out for me but you’re being really paranoid right now!”
At this point I really had to let the cat out of the bag.
“ Suzy, I’m warning you, this isn’t a threat but I have to let you know what’s going on here. I tell you what, I’ll go with you!”
 Suzy seemed stunned but she was in for an even bigger surprise with what I was about to say:
“These are my terms though: if we reach that house and enter the living area and see more than Sheba and her business partner, there will be trouble!”

Suzy asked what I meant. I replied:
“It sounds to me that she’s setting us up. It’s an old game that I have witnessed many times as a teenager. Many times a certain dude would brag about a certain freaky chick he knew. Only problem when you brag is, that sometimes you have to back up your words with actions. That would often lead to the other dudes in the room asking to meet this, so called, freaky girl in person. Should the dude bragging wish to prove this girl exists, he would have no choice but to call the girl in question and ask her to come over as soon as possible. When the girl arrives she doesn’t anticipate that there will be many other people present. Now she’s in a sticky situation: the only female amongst so many horny men.

The other men present only have one thing in mind; they want to sample the freaky stuff this dude was chatting about. It’s now down to the main man to convince the girl in question to give everyone a free sample.
In the famous words of Nate Dogg: “It aint no fun if the homeys can’t have none.”
The young lady only has two options: either pull down her panties or walk the fuck out. Unfortunately very few were smart enough to realise the latter was actually an option.
For some reason I could sense this was exactly what Sheba had in store for us and I reminded Suzy about the previous party where Sheba had used Suzy to her own ends without even Suzy realising.
That had turned out to be the worst night in our relationship, I’m sure you can recap what situation I’m talking about, my dear reader.
Many people may have thought I was jealous or unreasonable that night.
What I didn’t explain about that incident is that at the time I saw a mercenary game unfolding before my very eyes.
Unfortunately Suzy was totally oblivious to it and I hadn’t the time or opportunity to explain right then what was happening

Suzy’s eyes filled up in recognition of that fateful night in question.
 I continued to explain to Suzy that Sheba was the type of woman who would try and make money or gain popularity off the back of Suzy’s squirting, hence the fact that she was suddenly so interested in Suzy’s life. Sheba wanted to be the big fish but didn’t know how to go about it, she saw other women as her ticket.
She had tried, with limited success to organize sex parties and had now resorted to poaching other swing club clientele by offering her services as a coat check girl at our regular swinging club, resplendent in her obviously home made burlesque outfits.
If she could convince attractive women to jump on board her project and then pull the wool over their eyes, she could then put them in very compromising positions. For example introducing them to her hungry clients of whom she was incapable of showing a good time, she wasn’t conventionally attractive, by any means. I told Suzy that I could visualise a good five to seven men waiting for her to arrive so they could witness the water works that Sheba had promised them.
If this prediction had become a reality I would have turned into Suzy’s worst nightmare, she would have witnessed the absolute worst aspect of me.
I would have inflicted as much bodily harm on every man in the room, not to mention Sheba! Someone would have had to call the police but I wouldn’t have given a fuck!
I continued:
“To be honest I’m quite looking forward to going now as I’m sure my suspicions are true, you need to see what type of person you are dealing with here. She’s a nasty piece of work and I will fuck her up!”
This time around my words sunk in. Suzy was now concerned, the teenage game I had described seemed to hit home. I told her I had to get back to work.
“We’ll chat in a bit.”
It wasn’t long before a frantic Suzy called me back:
“You’ll never guess what text message I just received from Sheba’s so called business partner?”

Suzy went on to explain that Sheba’s business partner had sent a message to all his contacts about an orgy that was taking place that very night at his place.
It gave all the information needed such as entrance fee and directions. Was this coincidentally the same night as our ‘business meeting?’ or was something more sinister going on here?
 This man didn’t know that he had inadvertently also sent this text message to Suzy.
What a clown! If only he had grasped what he had just done! He confirmed all my suspicions for me. The funny thing was, he was oblivious to the fact that we knew of their little plan. Oops, they had seriously fucked up!
All their clients and contacts wouldn’t be pleased when they realised there wouldn’t be a show for them to witness, they would have probably ended up asking for a refund.

I could tell by Suzy’s voice she was disappointed as the realisation dawned that her so-called friend had attempted to set her up.
She was also relieved that we didn’t get to go all the way to Essex as she was well aware that I wasn’t joking about my violent intentions.
Did Sheba think I was going to sit back and watch my woman being made a fool of? Hell no! I’d be damned before I allow that to happen.
As I’ve stressed many times before to Suzy, I know “GAME” in all of its forms, regardless of how simple or complex it maybe
When you’ve surrounded yourself with the kind of people that I grew up with, it’s kind of hard to miss.
Usually when I’m in the position of proving some one wrong I can’t help but say “I told you so” but in this case it was inappropriate, Suzy didn’t need the added embarrassment.
Suzy was very upset and much like me had no intention of letting this incident just disappear.
We wanted Sheba to know that she was well aware of what she had in store for us.
I thought it would be much better to just not show up and leave Sheba “red faced”, not that black people of dark complexion can turn red but the embarrassment would be too much for her to hide.
Suzy disagreed; I wasn’t about to argue with her, I’d already done enough detective work for the day so I thought I’d  leave the conclusion in her hands.
She sent a text message to Sheba telling her she had received a message from her business partner; she wanted to know whether the contents of the message were true.
Suzy was well aware of the truth but she wanted Sheba to squirm at the fact she had been caught out.
Just as Suzy thought, Sheba took her time to reply.
The coward, she eventually replied with an answer: “Yes it is! But let me call you to explain.”
With that Suzy sent a simple message, WE ARE NOT COMING, HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

We bumped into Sheba around three months later at the once a month swinging club. To witness this socialite of the swinging scene duck her head when we entered the room was hilarious.
Let’s just say we’ve never seen such a big woman move so quickly.

Andy and Dana shook their heads in disbelief; they found it hard to believe that a woman they knew could be capable of such a thing.
I didn’t want to dampen the mood any longer so I quickly changed the subject to something more light-hearted.
The four of us chatted along for the next few minutes, Andy was plying the ladies with drinks; at this point I didn’t see a problem with that at all. Three of them appeared to be fairly sober despite the volume of alcohol they were consuming.
Wasn’t long before the girls were kissing and groping each other; this was soft swing at its best: two women who were genuinely attracted to each other.
Both ladies undressed each other with eager anticipation at what was about to happen.
I chose to stay clothed; I wasn’t that comfortable with getting naked so quickly in front of anybody, I was very much a slow starter.
Suzy and Dana were clearly fond of each other, they were kissing passionately. As Dana came up for a breather she said out loud: “I’m such a lesbian!” We all cracked up laughing.
Andy got undressed and jumped on the bed to get tucked into the action; it was pretty obvious that Dana and Andy wanted to resume the oral tag team they had formed at the club.
Just as Suzy was about to allow the tongue games to begin, she quickly blurted out “TOWELS!”
Andy leapt up with a smile and ran into the next room.
He would return not only with towels but also with a large plastic sheet, they had clearly taken heed from those text messages they had received.

He laid the plastic sheet down on the bed/sofa and the games begun as I sat back and watched.
A full twenty minutes later and I was still dressed, I have to confess that I’m a slow starter and feel odd about leaping into action. For some reason I got the bright idea in my head to record what was happening, the room wasn’t brightly lit but I thought what the hell. I pulled my mobile phone out of my pocket, loaded the camera and began to record.
The film was no longer than five minutes but my footage was pretty good. Andy and Dana had a red snake light in the room which vibrated well through the video to give it a wonderful effect.
I played the footage back to Andy; he seemed well chuffed and asked for the video to be sent via bluetooth to his laptop.
Once that was done I thought it was about time I joined in the fun, I could see I was much in demand.
I got undressed to wandering eyes. Dana and Andy seemed excited to see what I looked like naked. They appeared to be pleased with what they saw, Andy especially. Or was I seeing things?
The main reason for my reluctance to play in group situations is my incapability to get erections, for some reason my friend doesn’t rise to the occasion in front of spectators.
Andy offered yet another drink, both ladies accepted more alcohol.While he prepared the drinks I began to play with both ladies with a limp dick in hand.
Penetration was never on offer much to my relief but giving and receiving oral was expected, I was hoping the latter wouldn’t turn out to be embarrassing for me.
I kissed, sucked and stroked as usual, Dana seemed to love that, she wanted my fingers inside her but Andy returned with the much craved drinks.
As the ladies sipped on their drinks Dana began to tell us of another interracial couple they play with on regular basis.
She then put rest to what I had suspected by telling Suzy and I that Andy would often play with the male half of this couple.
The man in question according to Dana was a very attractive black man with dreadlocks; I myself don’t have dreadlocks but can now understand why Andy was so eager to see me naked.
To his credit he never attempted to touch me or try anything crafty; as he was aware I was straight.
With all tales of previous meets aside we all began to play, I still was having no luck with my friend downstairs but that wasn’t going to let that stop me from enjoying myself.
Dana and Andy were really going to work on Suzy and much to their delight they received the reward they were after.

Suzy let out one of the biggest gushes I have ever seen since I’ve known her. Andy and Dana were soaked from the waist up.
Despite this they wanted more action. I thought they would quit there but they were only just getting started.
For the next ten minutes they had Suzy squirting all over the room, sometimes as far as ten feet.
Unfortunately Suzy can’t control the direction of the fluid when she ejaculates, it just happens to land where-ever.
What Andy and Dana didn’t realize while having fun is that Suzy was hitting the television, stereo and digital display they had on their mantle piece.
Suzy’s noise level began to increase much to our host’s disapproval; they did have neighbours after all.
They didn’t dare say what they were thinking but it was written all over their faces, they kept shooting nervous looks in my direction, hoping I would encourage Suzy to keep the decibels down.
They should have thought about that before they made it their conquest to make her squirt endlessly, surely they must have anticipated that orgasms involve noise?
What I had noticed was Suzy’s behaviour. She did seem to be totally ignoring my pleas to tone it down.
She came across as dismissive and quite aggressive, that’s when I realized that Andy’s cocktails must have been pretty strong as the alcohol was definitely taking effect on Suzy’s persona.
Suzy and alcohol don’t mix well at all, some people may say I should have kept tabs on what she was drinking but she’s an adult after all, she has to take responsibility for her own actions.
At this point I realized I had to take control of the situation so I diverted the attention off Suzy and put it on myself.
I grabbed Dana and went to work with my hands and mouth.
Andy really seemed to enjoy watching Dana being pleasured just as much as she liked receiving it.
She was moaning and groaning while Andy groped her breasts from behind, at this point Suzy was merely a spectator.
Sitting back and watching isn’t Suzy’s style, wasn’t long before she jumped back into the action.
She had been receiving all night and was ready to return the favour; I knew this would be a bad idea as she was in a very aggressive mood.
Dana had a very tight pussy so the most I could manage was two fingers at one time, anything more would feel uncomfortable for her.
Suzy wasn’t to know this; especially when in a drunken state.
As I was in the middle of pleasing Dana, Suzy attempted to enter four of her fingers inside Dana.
Now Dana had six fingers inside of her, bad idea! I could see the displeasure in her face.
She quickly removed Suzy’s hand. I knew Suzy was in no state to acknowledge the discomfort she was causing and would only attempt to enter with even more fingers second time around uninvited.
With that in mind I made sure I told Suzy to just leave it be for the time being and allow my hands to do all the work.
As I plugged away at Dana her big breasts jiggled up and down, thank goodness she and Andy weren’t a full swap couple; any man with a penis more than seven and a bit inches would cause her great discomfort.
It took longer than I thought to bring her to orgasm but we got there eventually, my wrists were aching but I thoroughly enjoyed the workload.
With that, play time had come to an end. If only you could have seen the look on their faces when Andy turned the living room light on; it was classic! It was hard for them to hide their expressions; they couldn’t believe the mess they had created.
When I say the mess they created that’s exactly what I mean! They couldn’t really blame Suzy for what had happened; as they were the ones who determinedly went out of their way to make it happen.
They scanned the room looking at the damage, wet floor, wet TV, wet stereo and a pile of soaked towels.
I forgot to mention the mantle piece! They were truly entertained at the time it was happening; they took great pride in producing great squirts from Suzy’s soaking vagina.
Now reality had set in, they had to clear the mess up. Even though they were a lovely couple, I didn’t have much sympathy for them.
As they stood there trying to hide the look of amazement on their faces, they failed to remember that we had warned them way ahead of time.
Not to mention they had approached us not the other way around, they witnessed the mess that Suzy made that night in the club.
They were totally fascinated that night and wanted a private show, now they had experienced it in full, glorious technicolour, they weren’t too happy with the aftermath.
Surely they didn’t think that the fluid evaporates into thin air? Oh well.
Judging by their body language they didn’t want a second round, with that I made my excuses and told them we had to leave as it was late and we had work the next day, not that it wasn’t the truth.
Andy seemed pleased that we were about to leave, imagine that! When they were oblivious to the mess they couldn’t get enough but when the lights were on, their mood changed dramatically, out of site out of mind, it seemed.
It’s funny how things work out sometimes. It’s not like they knew Suzy was a gusher when they approached us at first but it most definitely played a part in their eagerness to meet us privately.
To think it was the very same thing, ultimately, that turned them off, is ironic. Let’s just say we never got invited back to their place for a repeat performance.
As for Suzy, she confirmed my fears the next day that she was drunk, as she didn’t have any recollection of what had taken place the night before.
We received an invite from them around two months via text message to meet up once again; this time though, not at their place but at the once a month club. I wonder why that was.




The Wake-up Call

Mood : devastated, empty

 

Dear diary ,
Oh my god oh my god oh my god!
Tonight was the worst night of my life! We just got back from the swinging club and I think that maybe it’s over between Dexter and me. I can’t stand it, I don’t understand.
What did I do?
All I know is that I’ve just spent an hour standing next to Dexter in silence waiting for a bus, feeling like the loneliest person on the planet. Now he’s lying next to me, not saying a word as I write this.
I never thought I’d find myself in this situation with Dexter. We can usually talk about anything. But right now, it looks like I’m the last person he wants to talk to, and quite frankly, I’m amazed that he’s still here at all. I’m sitting here barely able to see the screen as I type this on my laptop; the tears are running down my face.

Maybe if I tell you what happened tonight, I may be able to see more clearly where things went wrong for me. I sure hope so; I so want this relationship to work and would do anything to keep it. At the moment it feels like it’s hanging on by a thread.

Okay, this is what happened.
We had invited two other couples along to the club, a sexy experienced black couple who were travelling down quite a distance to meet us, and another interracial age gap couple similar to us. I had been chatting to the woman from the latter couple (Dee) for quite a while online and we had developed quite a rapport. I was looking forward to meeting her in the flesh. It had taken some time to gain her trust as her man without her knowledge made the initial contact. He had chatted to me online and his conversation had quickly turned sexual. She had felt quite threatened by this, so I had spent time reassuring her that I was not going to try and steal her man, quite the opposite, I was more interested in her. Her self-esteem wasn’t great, despite being a very attractive woman and I had spent quite a few hours reassuring her through online conversations that both Dexter and I found her attractive.
We arrived at the club, which was busier than usual. I went to the ladies room to change into my rubber dress for the night. It was hard to get on, but eventually I did it.
I chatted to Dangermouse who looked pretty worse for wear. It was early in the night but she had clearly been drinking heavily. She sprayed me with silicone spray so I was all shiny while she related her story of how she hated her own body since she had been taking steroids as part of her medication for her illness. She had been seriously ill, close to death in fact, and I think that this had impacted emotionally on her very hard. It would explain her reckless, self-destructive behaviour that we would witness later on. I sauntered out of the ladies’ and basked in the attention that I received. Oh I felt good.

We spotted Dee and Jerome (Jerome looked so young! There was no attraction for me there at all!)  we tried to make them feel at home. That was hard as they were both clearly terrified. Dexter chatted away with them and did a sterling job of making them feel at home as much as possible. I was ever conscious that the other couple were due to arrive and I went outside to welcome them in. The woman was very sexy indeed. I hadn’t had the opportunity to chat to her; all the initial contact was made by her man. I hoped she found me as attractive as I found her. I didn’t really feel any way towards her man. He was a nice enough man, but didn’t make me feel like she made me feel.
My attention was seriously divided that night. So I ended up chatting to Steve and Beverly, the black couple and thought that Dexter would look after Jerome and Dee and come and join the conversation with Steve, Bev and myself when he was ready to do so. I ended up kissing Beverly and going down on her; it seemed the natural thing to do. I wondered where Dexter was. I would have loved for him to join in with me. I felt a pair of hands creep towards me. I panicked…who’s hands were they? I looked down and realised they were Steve’s. Although I didn’t really want his involvement, I thought it would have been rude of me to take them away, so I allowed him to touch me, and I returned my attention to the very gorgeous creature in front of me. I felt another pair of hands touching me from behind as I was kissing Beverly, so I ducked down to kiss elsewhere, avoiding the touch from behind. I really didn’t want this to turn into a free for all, ideally I would have been happy to just play with Beverly and Dexter.
Dexter called me to look at an attractive woman who was being fucked by some geeky dude. She was a squirter just like me. I was a little confused at the significance of this interruption. I had seen that scenario at swinging clubs a hundred times over.
He walked off.
I stopped playing with Bev and wondered where he had gone. Why was he acting so strangely? Oh well, I was here to enjoy myself and I wasn’t going to spend my time walking around looking for him. I didn’t want to restrict Dexter’s movements in the club; that would have made me look really possessive. He would find me if he needed me, I figured.

My friend Queen of Sheba introduced me to a friend of hers. He clearly wanted to play. I think she must’ve said something about my squirting because he seemed to be on a mission.  I didn’t really want to, but I had nothing else to do and I figured that if I let him touch me and made no attempt at reciprocating that would be okay. If I distanced myself from what was happening to me that would remove my burden of guilt. It was only his fingers, what was the big deal?

In previous visits to this same club before I had met Dexter, I had let countless anonymous people touch me. The strange thing was though, that although the idea was appealing, the reality of it was strangely dull. I felt removed, distanced, as if I was watching someone else being the focus of attention. I could hear myself moan and groan but couldn’t equate that with any feelings of bliss. In fact feeling anything would have been good, the best I could feel was numb.  I made noise to keep myself from being involved. I was performing, and the very point of performing is to please others. The louder I groaned, the quicker I hoped the finale of the performance would arrive.

And so I found myself in a familiar environment, in a familiar position, moaning and groaning to speed up the process. Every now and then I would bear down to achieve the much anticipated (and I think over-rated) gush. I wasn’t coming. This was no proof of orgasm.  I felt nothing. This was faking it on a dramatic level. If he thought he was doing a good job, he would end it sooner, surely? I felt uncomfortable performing. I knew deep down that it couldn’t be a healthy thing to do but I was stuck in a groove, re-enacting a familiar part in a familiar play on a familiar stage. It seemed to go on forever and I got increasingly loud as I looked towards a speedy conclusion. I looked up and saw Dexter dancing with the lady friend of the dude who had his hand inside me. At least he was having fun, I thought.
Lucky him.
Eventually the man withdrew his hand and I was free to go: job done. I had provided the prerequisite puddle on the floor to prove what a fabulous job he had done on me. If only he knew.

I found it hard to get through to Dexter. Half of the time was spent wandering around trying to find him.

In my search I couldn’t avoid noticing Dangermouse jumping onto countless naked dicks and riding away bareback. Did that woman have a death wish? And why did the men let her do that? Why did her husband let her do that too? I had really presumed that in a swinging club full of open minded adults, safe sex would have been a given. Clearly it’s better and safer not to presume.

I felt really foolish in front of our guests as they witnessed me wandering around looking for Dexter. My irritation at him grew as the night wore on. He wasn’t behaving like the Dexter I knew. He had never been like this before.  I eventually found him sitting with the interracial couple we had invited along. His face looked like thunder. I knew that he didn’t want to be there. I went to sit with him to talk to him. I asked what was wrong but he just said he was bored. I knew that was rubbish. We could sit doing nothing at home with each other and still not be bored so why should he be bored in this stimulating environment? No, I knew he was masking his true feelings, and that unwillingness to communicate honestly with me was really pissing me off. I felt totally ineffectual at dealing with the situation. If he wasn’t honest with me about the real reasons behind his mood, how could I help resolve it?
I needed the bathroom. Unthinkingly, I gave my tiny handbag to Dexter as I really had no need for it in the ladies’, and started to walk through the crowd on the dance floor towards the ladies toilet. A hand reached out and grabbed me; it belonged to the co-owner of the club who turned out to be another friend (and ex fuck-buddy) of Sheba.

“Go on, dance with me!” he demanded.
Although I needed to urinate, I thought I could hang on for the length of the average record. I didn’t see the harm in dancing. How could anyone take offence to a dance? So I danced. He didn’t try and get too close, I didn’t see the harm. My rubber skirt rode up, I was aware of not wanting to expose too much flesh in this situation, so I pulled it down sharply. Oh no! It tore. A whole handful of the skirt came off in my hand exposing a great big area of my bottom Oh dear that was most unfortunate and embarrassing. My dancing partner pointed out to me that Dexter wasn’t looking too happy. That just made me mad. How unreasonable was Dexter being? I was only dancing. I hadn’t restricted his movements in the club, and jealousy was not something I thought belonged in a swingers club. The previous irritation I had been feeling for Dexter and frustration of not knowing why he was so grumpy seemed to boil up inside of me.
“Oh its ok, that’s his issues” I said.
I could understand if he was mad with me for doing something other than dancing it just seemed so unreasonable for him to be sulking right now .The dude who had played with me before came over and started to dance behind me.
That’s when I saw Dexter get really mad, he got up and grabbed me by the arm and marched me upstairs to talk. He was clearly angry to a degree to which I’d never before witnessed. Upstairs was locked so we never did get to the bottom of the problem, and the night ended up both of us standing in silence waiting for our night bus home. And here I am crying and wondering where it all went wrong….

Thursday evening

Hello diary. I feel a bit better now.
Things are clearer.
God, I love this man of mine. I’m feeling pretty fragile, as I know now just how close I was to losing him on Tuesday night.

Dexter invited me out to lunch at our local gastro pub. We hadn’t really managed to talk about that night’s goings on, so I was pretty nervous about what he was going to say to me. He sat down and opened his heart to me. Told me just how he felt. I had had no idea that he had been feeling like I was ignoring him!  That was odd to hear because I had felt almost the same.
I thought he would rather be with other people that night and I didn’t want to ‘cramp his style’ by hanging off of him. After all it was a swingers club; we were there to interact with others so I confused his hurt / rejected /ignored signals for aloofness.
It did confuse me, hence my building anger. It seems like I had behaved like an idiot without realising it. If only I had known that my lovely man wanted my interaction and attention! And to find out that those were his hands that I had ducked out of that time. No wonder he had felt so rejected. Baby, I didn’t know!

As he sat there and poured out all the hurt and anger that he had felt that night, I was overwhelmed with so many mixed emotions. I was scared that I could bring such vitriol and violence out of my man. I was touched that he cared enough about me to be so hurt by my seeming rejection of him. Most of all, I was grateful that he was still there, in front of me trying to sort this situation out. That emotional investment touched me. I had never met any other man who was prepared to look past my complexities and try and understand my troubled, confused behaviour in such a challenging situation. It all got a bit much for me as his obvious hurt and anger poured out. I fled to the bathroom to have a good cry on my own. He didn’t like to see me cry so I needed to get away to let the tears flow unrestricted. I just let it all pour out of me. I was so sorry that my lack of sensitivity at that club almost cost me the best relationship I have ever had. I was frustrated that I couldn’t seem to explain my motivation for behaving the way I did without looking like a fool. Why couldn’t I behave like other women? What was the problem with me? I knew the abuse I had gone through in the past held the key, but I had no idea of how to use it to unlock the padlock of confusion.

I just let the tears fall until I had none left. I knew I looked a mess but I felt safe in the knowledge that my man would look past that, so I bravely ventured back into the pub, crumpled tissues in hand, secretly praying that it wasn’t too packed with customers. Turned out it didn’t matter. All I saw was my man sitting there. He filled my whole world that day. When he looked at my swollen red face, with a look that only a man who deeply cared could muster, I knew we would get through this. I knew he understood that I would never knowingly go out to hurt him. Sometimes it’s good to show pain and sorrow. My dejected blotchy face was worth more than a hundred sorrys. We held hands across the table. I caught my breath in that pathetic way that a baby does after it has been sobbing for a while and my bottom lip quivered.

No more swinging clubs.
Something inside me told me they weren’t good for either of us. I clearly couldn’t handle being in that situation with a man that I loved. I couldn’t switch off knee jerk behaviour that stemmed directly from hardwiring from my difficult past. I couldn’t adapt. Dexter had often suggested that maybe the scene was contributing to my abuse issues and making them worse and he didn’t want to be responsible for that. I had always refuted that claim. I stubbornly maintained that I could stay on top of the situation and behave in an appropriate manner in a swinging club situation. Tuesday night had shown me just how wrong I could be. Dexter was right. I could not behave appropriately and with awareness in those situations. Oh it’s so hard to admit to being damaged. Someone please fix me.

I was young, barely 16, and I was seeing a much older, cooler man who was well loved and respected in our local community. He was an ex surfer, with the prerequisite blonde dry hair, deep tan and pale blue eyes. He ran his own seafood restaurant in the nearby seaside town and was quite the catch. I never quite understood how I had managed to catch such a man; I can’t quite remember how I was introduced to him in the first place. We didn’t date, I didn’t question that. He would just pick me up in his open top sports car and take me back to his very stylish bachelor pad at the nearby marina where we would have sex. He had a yacht moored just outside and the living room windows opened up straight onto the waterfront. This was seductive stuff. I wish I had the knowledge I have now, back then and could have seen that I was nothing more than a sexual object.
In my eyes Ronnie was my boyfriend and I was lured in by his glamorous lifestyle and his pale blue piercing eyes.
I stared up at those eyes as he lay on top of me. We had had sex three times already and now he was starting over again. Not that I was complaining, I loved making him happy. We had barely begun when there was a commotion. A big gang of men, around eight of them, walked into his house seemingly uninvited, hadn’t he locked his front door? They seemed agitated but they clearly knew Ronnie, not that Ronnie seemed pleased to see them. They burst into the bedroom; saw Ronnie and me in bed. One of the men seeing what was going on said,
‘We gonna get ourselves some of that’
I wondered what he meant.
I soon found out.
Ronnie got out of bed and went to go and speak to the men in the living room. Some of the gang leered at me, as I pulled the sheets up around my nakedness. I heard voices being raised and an argument broke out. One of the men ran into the bedroom, ran straight up to the wardrobe, opened it up and took out a suitcase. Ronnie started to shout and jump up and down to try and reach it as the man held it over his head. Ronnie was not tall, his attempts at retrieving the case were futile. Then I heard the man holding the case say:
“I’ll give you the drugs in exchange for the girl.”
The next thing I knew all the men were in the room and it was quite clear that I was some sort of drug trade-off. I froze. I didn’t know Ronnie was a drug dealer, but I suppose it explained the flash bachelor pad and yacht, the restaurant business doesn’t pull in that amount of money when I came to think about it.

Did I scream? No. Did I fight? No. Did I even protest slightly? No. I found myself in a strange state of limbo where I found myself unable to respond as man after man penetrated me and collapsed after climaxing inside me. One face blurred into the next as I stared straight up at their eyes, imploring them silently to stop. I was numb. I didn’t feel any pain or pleasure, just a deep sense of horror and fear and confusion. Why was this happening to me? Why wasn’t Ronnie doing anything to help?
I recognised the next face that loomed over me. I recognised a local man who I knew from around the way, I knew that he was due to be married in the morning. I smiled as he pushed his erect penis into my semen drenched pussy and started to pump away. I was waiting until he was about to come…
At the moment of his orgasm I sank my teeth deep into his neck and drew blood.
‘Go and explain that one to your wife in the morning when she walks down the aisle with you” I whispered.
I didn’t know if he heard me.
He swore.
“Fucking bitch! What you have to go and do that for? Watch out boys, this bitch bites!”
The rest of the men made sure they had their hands firmly over my mouth as they had their fun.
I don’t know how many times they did it. I don’t know how long it lasted.  I don’t know how I got home. I put it to the back of my head in a file labelled “stuff to ignore” and got on with my homework.
I never saw Ronnie again.




What the hell am I doing here?
How do I get myself into these situations?
Some way or another Suzy has managed to get me here.
I’ve always been curious about these types of parties but never envisioned I’d be dead centre in one of them, let alone the focus of attention.

I could feel the eyes on me from the moment I stepped in the venue, I felt no different from how young black men feel in most situations: being the only black face in the office, walking into a department store and being followed like a thief even though you may have enough money to buy the whole store, walking down the high street and witnessing white women pull their handbags to their chest like they have something you want  (if I really wanted her purse I’d simply take it) or seeing old white folk cross the street to avoid you.
That’s the life of a black male, or should I say minority, in this country. Always a suspect no matter how honest and hard working you are.

That’s the feeling I got when I stepped into this place. Suzy tried to reassure me that I wasn’t a suspect and that they were staring because I was hands-down the most handsome man in the building!  Not to sound vain but that was the truth as the standard of men in there wasn’t very high.
I was gob smacked to see absolutely stunning women with wrinkly old men. Was it money or true love? It was none of my business to be honest. As long as they were happy with each other, that’s all that mattered.

Suzy and I chilled in the bar area for the first twenty minutes as I wasn’t ready to enter the play area yet but that wasn’t a problem as the play area seemed to come to us.
Out from behind the curtain appeared a blonde stunner, stark naked with the exception of some fuck-me-boots, followed by the ‘Barrister’ and then another stunner. Brunette this time, she was followed by a short dude.  She must have towered over him by at least seven inches.
At this point I became even more nervous as I could now envision a fuck fest from hell behind those curtains… I shouldn’t be there!
Eventually I plucked up the courage to be led into the playroom by Suzy. Yet again all eyes were on me as we entered. I was pleasantly surprised and relieved to see two fellow black men in there. The first was part of an interracial couple and the second dude, to my surprise, was one half of a black couple.
We found a bench that wasn’t occupied and sat down. As cool as I am in most situations, my nerves clearly showed on my face as the young lady from the black couple approached me and said,
“Don’t look so scared babe, we won’t kill you!”

My eyes were wide open as I was taking in the experience. A lot of the people there looked like innocent primary school teachers; the type of people that on face value would appear to have boring lives! If only their peers knew how exciting their lives really were.
There were loads of female heads bobbing up and down in men’s laps, men on their knees with their heads buried in between women’s legs. I’d never seen anything like this at first hand before.
As I sat there with my mouth and eyes wide open, a blonde beauty led a guy in leather pants to the empty couch behind us. Before I knew it his pants were around his ankles and he jumped on top of her.
He was pounding away as she screamed with her legs in the air. He looked dead at me and winked. This could have been taken the wrong way as I was warned there would be a few bisexual men that may take a fancy to my arse, but as far as I was concerned it was nothing more than acknowledgement of my watching and enjoying the view.
It was all over pretty quick. As he pulled off the condom and dropped it on the floor, I turned back around and continued to chat with Suzy. I felt a presence behind me. I looked to my right .It was the same dude standing behind me with his erection sitting on my shoulder. “What the hell!” I said quickly moving to my left. He quickly dispersed with embarrassment.

As I returned from the bar with our rum and cokes in hand, Suzy made it clear that she wanted to play. I thought it was about time I did something, as that was the reason we were there after all.
I laid her on her back and with the ice from the rum and coke in my mouth I proceeded to go down on her. Boy, did she like that!
As we were playing, one of the many couples that had been waiting to pounce on us didn’t waste any time to seize the moment. Not that they did much, just fondled Suzy’s breasts as she lay on her back.
That didn’t last too long as I became very aware of how many pairs of eyes were focused on us. People there were familiar with Suzy and were well aware of her squirting, which is always in popular demand.
I felt uncomfortable and stopped what I was doing. Suzy was a little disappointed but understood my position.

It was pretty clear that performing in front of a crowd may take a while to get used to; I still had a few butterflies floating around in my stomach as I felt under pressure to perform but for whom?

1) I knew that there were people in the room that wanted to play with us but didn’t want to approach as they could see I wasn’t totally at ease. It’s not like I didn’t want to play. It’s just that my body wouldn’t cooperate.

2) I wanted to play for Suzy’s sake; I wanted to please her but didn’t have the bottle to do so. I felt bad and inadequate. It couldn’t have been nice for her to have a nice looking man accompany her to a club and not play with her. That must have been embarrassing.

3) I wanted to prove something to myself also: how comes all these other dudes can get it up so damn easy? Why couldn’t I be like them?
I was the youngest dude in there and being out performed by granddads, for crying out loud! What the hell was wrong with me? Only time would tell.
We noticed that the couch behind us was empty and decided to sit there.
After a few minutes of kissing and fondling, we noticed that another black couple had arrived. They made their way over to the couch; we smiled at them and continued doing as we were.
As we pulled up for air from our kiss we noticed that the other black couple had now occupied our couch. Suzy and I found this amusing and I labelled this corner the Negro League.
Not sure who kicked things off, but before I knew it the six of us were touching and fondling. I felt more at ease now, still no erection but at least the butterflies were gone.
As we were groping, I noticed the glare from a lady that we call Curly Haired Woman.  Some anonymous man was fucking her from behind. She watched with envy, not paying much attention to what was happening behind her.
You could see she longed to play in the Negro League. 
There was nothing stopping her except for the dick that was inside her, I knew she was gunning for me and she was attractive after all, but she would have been disappointed had she played with me, as she would find out for herself in the future!
As Curly Haired Woman watched on, we continued to play with these two couples. Nothing major was happening until Suzy decided to get stuck into one of these black cuties.
As black girl number one assumed the on all fours position, Suzy began to finger her. To my amazement that didn’t last long as Suzy quickly pulled away with a horrible frown on her face.
Black girl number one didn’t see this expression. Not that it mattered, as the guy from the second couple quickly grabbed her from behind.
Suzy took one look at me and said, “Smell this!” As she pulled her finger towards my face I smelt this awful rotten fishy smell.
“What the hell is that?” I said. Suzy looked at me and said
“ B.V(bacterial vaginosis) no way am I going down on her.”

By this time black couples had made a swap, Black guy one took Black Girl two to the other side of the room to fuck her as Black Guy two and Black Girl one remained on the couch. Black Guy two looked in my direction and asked for a condom. Before I could say yes, Suzy had given him one from her purse. It wasn’t like she was going to need it. It was obvious we wouldn’t be full swapping with anyone that night.
Suzy and I sat back and watched him go at it for about thirty seconds. That had to be the quickest shag ever! Black Girl one didn’t look impressed.

I turned my attention to another dude who had been working the room like no other man that night. I had seen him fuck at least seven other women and now he was on his eighth, a cute brunette who had been eyeing me up all night.
Have to admit I was envious of this mans prowess. That could have been me hammering the shit out of her, had I had the bottle to perform.
He put her on a stool, put her legs way up in the air and continued to bang away. I have to say I didn’t admire his technique: very short quick strokes like a rabbit. I would later come to find out in future visits that many men with short dicks have the same technique, but hey! At least he can get it up, unlike me. What’s the point of having a big dick if it doesn’t work on command?
Suzy told me that it was the Viagra that they used. I’m not so sure.

As the night wore on, there was still no erection. Despite Suzy’s best attempts at arousing me and even though I was surrounded by sex, I still had no luck.
I noticed the lady from the couple who fondled Suzy’s breast earlier. She was in the middle of the floor giving head to one guy as her husband watched on. He was clearly a voyeur .He was not there to play as much as his wife, to whom we would later refer to as Danger Mouse, quite a fitting name.
It was getting late by this time and a few couples had left which obviously meant fewer women to play with.
There were lots of men wanking, watching other people fuck and hoping to sneak in a quick blowjob.
As Danger Mouse gave a blowjob, other men saw their opportunity and pounced.  Her husband didn’t seem to mind that there were now four dicks surrounding her instead of the one.
She grabbed two of the dicks that surrounded her and gave them hand jobs, just before she allowed the third to enter her mouth. She looked dead at me with a look that said everything, how do I get myself out of this mess? It was clear she didn’t want to pleasure all those dicks, but didn’t have the nerve or the courage to say no and disappoint all those horny men.
I felt the urge to go and help her out but that was not my job. That was down to her husband to do that, and if he was cool with the situation then who was I to intervene? After all she was a grown woman and was more than capable of opening her mouth. Just because it was a swingers club doesn’t mean you can’t say no.
My job was to protect Suzy from harm, not every woman in the club.
The DJ informed everyone that the night would be over in ten minutes .I was determined to fuck Suzy before we left the venue.

Not sure what came over me but I suddenly had a raging hard on. I wish it had been there the whole night, for fucks sake! But better late then never.
Suzy was delighted and eagerly assumed doggy position. I pulled down my pants and hastily went to work, as I didn’t have much time with which to work. I knew the remaining people in the club would gather round so I closed my eyes to block them out. I knew that their presence might cause me to lose the erection that had eluded me all night.
I pounded away for about five to seven minutes, which resorted in Suzy squirting all over my trousers, which were dangling by my ankles.
I eventually came, pulling out and spraying Suzy’s arse with my cum. Damn that felt good! What a relief! Surely my next visit would be a big success now that I’d managed to jump this high hurdle!

I didn’t realise that Black Girl one was watching no less than two feet away. She had a huge smile on her face. She then asked Suzy if I was as good as I sounded.
“Of course”, said Suzy, “In fact he’s better!”



{August 10, 2011}   Sauna adventures

There is a part of life that while not exactly hidden away, remains pretty much out of the public eye. Saunas fit that category. While most people know about the existence of gay saunas and all that goes on there, not too many people are aware of the goings on at the local health spa/sauna in your high street.

Suzy first heard of these places when she had first split from her husband. A chance meeting with a stranger at a wedding who was dressed as a highwayman (Suzy was dressed as an Eighteenth Century lady, it was a themed wedding) had led to a brief, but life-changing encounter. During this dalliance this dark stranger would tell her that she would have many lovers (something that Suzy found hard to believe) and that he would love to take her to a sauna where strangers would pleasure each other openly in the steamy, heady atmosphere. This sounded like fantasy to Suzy at the time and she dismissed the suggestion as mere over excitement on his behalf.
Suzy was later to find out that the stranger was right. She was to have many lovers. And these places most certainly existed.

To the man in the street, these saunas were places where health nuts and naturists would go to hang out (literally) in the jacuzzis, saunas and steam rooms. To those in the know, however, that was just the beginning. There was a locked door accessed by a nod at the receptionist which revealed a staircase which led to a complex of small cubicles (private massage rooms) that were ostensibly for massage and were limited to couples only. Suzy had been taken there a few times by men she had met on the scene and had enjoyed entire days of hedonism, punctuated only by the odd plunge in the pool to freshen up. It was a place for couples to meet other couples, to socialise in the jacuzzis and to take things further upstairs if it came to that. Suzy thought it was time she introduced Dexter to these delights.

It took a lot of persuading. The first thing to get over was the fact that no clothes were allowed. Only towels preserved modesty, but towels had to be hung up before stepping into the jacuzzi. Dexter was a very modest person. He had a great body, but was the type of man who would keep on his shirt even when the sun was beating down. Suzy reassured him that he would soon overcome his shyness once the initial step was taken. With reassurance that they didn’t have to stay if Dexter hated it, ringing in his ears, they both set off to the North London Sauna, just on the high street right next to a very popular burger chain. It was hardly discreet. Suzy wondered what the average passer by on the street would think if they knew what really went on behind those doors. They paid their entrance fee, picked up their fluffy white towels and pushed through the doors.

It didn’t take long before Suzy was in the jacuzzi. She sat in the bubbling water waiting for Dexter to join her. She felt eyes burning into her. She looked around and saw two men staring at her intently. Where was Dexter? As much as she liked this place, it made her feel uneasy and vulnerable to be by herself without the reassurance of being visibly spoken for. Eventually Suzy got out of the jacuzzi, wrapped a towel around herself to preserve her modesty and went to look for Dexter. She found him talking to another black man near the sauna. Dexter was finding the experience hard, and this other man was telling him to relax and chill out. Suzy went for a swim and left Dexter chatting.
There was a camera trained on the swimming pool that was visible at the bar. Suzy hadn’t realised it but everyone at the bar could see her swimming naked. She wondered why as soon as she went for a swim, the edges of the pool would fill up with single men. Dexter sat down at the side of the pool and watched Suzy swim back and forth. He felt eyes burning into the back of his head. He turned around and saw a large, short, blonde woman sitting in the jacuzzi surrounded by men, staring straight at him. Surely he was mistaken? Maybe she was staring at someone else. He turned back around. Suzy splashed him and shouted for him to join her in the pool. Dexter wasn’t really in the mood. Suzy soon had company. The same large lady had jumped in right next to Suzy and was chatting in a rather familiar way. Suzy immediately was on her defensive. This woman’s intentions were clear. She was making it known to Suzy that she fancied both her and Dexter and that she wanted to join them upstairs for some fun. Well that was the polite way of putting it. There wasn’t a polite way of declining  this woman’s advances. She wasn’t going to hear it, clearly. Suzy started to get irritated. If there was one thing she couldn’t tolerate in people and that was vulgarity. The woman’s name was Sam and she said she was a regular to the sauna. Suzy tried to make small talk, but this woman always steered it round to sexual matters. Suzy told her how she was bisexual too and was on scene and was a ‘squirter’. Sam looked slightly befuddled and then claimed to be a ‘squirter’ too. Did she really know what that was? It seemed to be an anything you can do I can do better type of conversation thus far, so Suzy wasn’t sure. Before I continue this story, maybe I should explain to any of you who haven’t come across the phenomenon of female ejaculation, just what ‘squirting’ is, and no, it isn’t piss! (Well not entirely)
The myths that female ejaculation is the result of poor bladder control, or excess secretion which sweats from the vaginal walls and pools in the back of the vagina to squirt out during the strong muscle contractions of orgasm, have been proven wrong. For decades many women felt it dreadfully abnormal and tried to hide or avoid it. Physicians in their ignorance tried to cure it. By questioning many women, researchers have established that about one woman in five ejaculates (through her urethra rather than her vagina), some of the time but not always. The stimulation of the G-spot produces both her ejaculation and her deep uterine contractions.

Okay, that’s the Science bit over, now back to the sauna:
Dexter jumped in the pool and Sam was on him like a shot. She grabbed at Dexter’s penis under the water and told him that her pum pum needed filling. That was final confirmation of vulgarity for Suzy so she thought she’d leave Dexter to it. She got out of the pool and went and sat in the nearby jacuzzi. After a while Dexter joined her. He was closely followed behind by Sam who plopped herself down unceremoniously a little too closely to the both of them.
Suzy was not in a good mood. This was not how she wanted to spend the day.
Dexter was very surprised at her aloofness. He had never seen Suzy behave with such animosity towards anyone before. Suzy ignored Sam as she tried to make small talk, and winced as Sam tried unsuccessfully to turn Suzy on by playing with her feet. Suzy almost laughed out loud as Sam thrust her stumpy feet into Dexter’s face. Did Sam really think Dexter was going to suck toes that looked like that? Suzy looked down through the bubbly water at her small, compact feet with carefully painted red toenails and smiled. She knew how much Dexter loved sucking her toes.

A middle aged black man with the most unattractive mouth and teeth that Suzy had ever seen came to sit in the jacuzzi. Dexter asked Sam if that was her partner as he had seen her sitting with him earlier. Sam vehemently denied it and explained that he was someone with whom she frequented the sauna .She pointedly remarked that he was definitely not her boyfriend. Suzy wished he would keep her busy and leave them both alone. This woman was really starting to annoy her. Suzy stood up, wrapped her towel around her, and whispered to Dexter that she was escaping to the sauna.
It was a relief to get away from that woman, Suzy thought, as she lay back naked in the sauna, the intense heat prickling her skin and creating diamante –like beads of sweat all over her body. This felt good. She lay there with Dexter and they chatted away, amused at the constant to-ing and fro-ing of the single (mainly Turkish) men as they spotted naked female flesh through the small cabin window. A few braver souls actually sat down opposite Suzy with their erections proudly on display. Suzy didn’t know whether to be flattered or saddened. Dexter shook his head at this pathetic desperate display. When the heat got overbearing and their bodies were running with rivulets of sweat, Dexter and Suzy showered and ventured upstairs after receiving the nod from reception that unlocked the secret stairway to the rooms upstairs.

They found a red painted corridor full of doorways leading into tiny rooms with just plastic covered mattresses and the occasional scruffy pillow. This was like a grown up version of Alice in Wonderland thought Suzy, except there was no need to ‘eat me’ to enter any of the doors. They selected a small room with the cleanest looking mattress, shut the door firmly and got down to business. It was important to make sure the door was firmly shut as they found out later…

The atmosphere in the tiny red room was highly charged. There was something strangely intense and exhilarating about being in such a small space that was specifically designed for sex. Suzy felt delightfully naughty and Dexter could feed off of her excitement. The muffled sounds of other people chatting and moaning filtered through the thin walls.  Suzy lay back on the hard rubber mattress and Dexter stood over her, his erection standing out strong and proud. Suzy feasted her eyes on this wonderful specimen of masculinity standing above her. There was something incredibly delicious about being prone and feeling submissive to her man. Even though Suzy was often the sexual aggressor and instigator in matters sexual, she so loved it when Dexter took control. It made her feel so womanly. He straddled her head and she rubbed his hard cock all over her face, drowning in his powerful aphrodisiac smell. When the tip brushed over her lips, she couldn’t resist the temptation to envelop his turgid member in her mouth. There was something about Dexter’s cock that amazed Suzy. It seemed to possess an energy that was tangible. She felt it throb and pulsate in her mouth as she carefully caressed it with her mouth and lips. She covered his dick with lots of spittle and used her hand in a vice like grip and masturbated him hard. He moaned and thrust his hips towards her face. Once he could take the teasing no longer, he pushed Suzy’s legs over her head and fucked her: with undulating strokes that drove Suzy wild. She could take it no longer and came with an enormous gush, spraying her own ejaculate in her face. Dexter and Suzy both collapsed in a fit of giggles. Then Dexter turned her over on her knees on the platform mattress while he stood on the floor. Her heart shaped bottom was just at the right level to fuck her doggy-style until she came, again and again. With a shudder and moan, Dexter arched his back and came too. When they had both recovered from the post-coital blackout, they looked at the floor. Suzy’s ejaculate was all over the floor and running out under a crack under the door. . They needed to do some serious cleaning up.

Suzy decided that she should go and get fresh towels from the bar downstairs while Dexter used the old ones to mop up the deluge. Passers by in the corridor were wondering what had gone on in their room. They were soon to find out…

When Suzy got to the bar downstairs, her heart sank. There was Sam sitting on a stool at the bar. She grinned at Suzy. Suzy read the expression on her face as a leer. She just didn’t like that woman. “Hey, where’ve you been? I want to lick your fanny!” Sam blurted out. Suzy wished the ground would open up and swallow her. Why did this woman have to be so crass? Suzy flashed a nervous smile and tried to walk as quickly as she could away from the source of her embarrassment, fresh towels in hand.

Dexter and Suzy spent an hour or so lounging around in the TV area, luxuriating in each other’s presence until it was time to go upstairs again. The lure of those stairs was too strong to resist. As they passed by a few of the cubicles in the red corridor they were greeted by a familiar voice. Oh no. It was Sam. She was sitting in the very room that Dexter and Suzy had christened earlier, with a few men surrounding her.
“Hey, sexy! Can I join you two?” she barked out.
Suzy really was tired of this woman
“No you can’t!” she said, her mood quite clear.
It seemed that Sam had got the message. As Dexter and Suzy retired to the room opposite by themselves, she clearly heard Sam as she hissed:
“Bitch!”

Suzy smiled as they pushed the door closed. They couldn’t completely close the door as it had lost the door handle but they thought nothing of it. There was only a crack of light visible at the doorframe. Not too much to destroy the illusion of privacy.
Suzy lay down on the mattress once again, legs splayed, inviting Dexter to get to work. And work he duly did, using his hands and a fist to skilfully milk her pussy until she was on planet sex.

Unbeknownst to our horny couple, the people outside the door were becoming intrigued by the curious moans and splashing noises they could hear coming from the room.
Deep in the throes of seriously strong ejaculatory orgasms, Suzy didn’t hear the slow creaking of the door as it was pushed slowly ajar. Not until she felt a sharp slap on her backside did she realise that they were not alone. By this stage she was past caring and she encouraged Dexter to continue his manipulations, causing Suzy to gush five foot fountains into the air. A voice cut through the sexually charged silence:
“It has to be piss…
This brought Suzy down to earth with a bump as she became aware of a rather large audience crowding in at the door. Dexter and Suzy stopped what they were doing and addressed their curious audience who were stunned at what they had witnessed. Suzy then held court and answered questions that were thrown at her from the intrigued crowd of at least ten strong. She addressed the comment that had alerted them to the audience’s presence initially, explaining that no, whilst the liquid that came out of her during orgasm, came from the urethra, it most definitely wasn’t urine and that she could empty her bladder before and after such episodes, proving her point. Scientific tests had shown that female ejaculate contains minute quantities of uric acid, but it was definitely not urine but the female equivalent of prostate fluid. It didn’t taste, smell, feel or look like urine either. Suzy pondered that Sam had said she was a squirter. The man, who had said it had to be piss, was her swinging partner. He had clearly never seen this phenomenon before.
Suzy and Dexter spent the best part of half an hour holding the most surreal question and answer session that they had ever experienced in their lives before.
What a bizarre afternoon!
Dexter and Suzy giggled as they showered together. Now THAT was fun!




The Incredible Hulk #1 (May 1962). Cover art b...

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Tuesday am
Okay, it’s the first Tuesday of the month; that can only mean one thing: swinging club!
I’m really excited about going. The first time is always the most stressful, now that’s over and done with, maybe Dexter will be able to relax and have fun at this next one.
Whatever happens, I’ll be happy. It’s being held at a new venue in the poshest part of the West End. Its dress to impress I reckon. Ooh what fun!

Wednesday am
Well, that was not quite how I expected it to be. It wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t as much fun as the first time I took Dexter.
Let me explain.
We dressed up, Dexter all in black as usual, me in a halter neck red dress and heels, most unlike my usual style, but a girl has to make an effort sometimes. We looked good together.
We found the venue in a small club that had just recently been refurbished in the most exclusive part of Mayfair.
How chic. In fact, some of the club was unfinished, but it was a very aesthetically pleasing start. We signed in like old pros; Dexter managed to handle the butterflies quite well this time. We bought drinks and found a seat in the bar area. Saw my mate, Queen of Sheba. It was always good to see her.  She was so bubbly and vivacious, larger than life and always a source of great stories.
I introduced Dexter to her and we chatted for a while. She told hilarious stories of procuring herself a submissive male slave who sat beneath her generous posterior unnoticed at fetish clubs servicing her orally while she held court.
Dexter seemed much more comfortable here. I was pleased for him. I didn’t want to feel like I was dragging him into something he didn’t like, just for my sake.
As we sat drinking and chatting I spotted in the distance an old friend. This man used to be a regular fuck buddy friend of mine. We had met at this club and had kept contact ever since. He was married, but his wife didn’t play. She knew of his antics though, but felt, for cultural reasons, unable to join him in a club to play publicly. She wasn’t averse to a spot of private playing I was later to find out.
This man had the biggest dick I had ever encountered. It was a good 12 inches long but as thick as a forearm. It was quite the albatross around this man’s neck. I mean, how can a man live up to his dick when it’s such a monster with its own reputation? I soon found out that despite his gigantic endowment, it didn’t make for the best sex. Huge size has its own limitations. This was the man I had texted from Norway, telling him that I was no longer going to see him because I had met Dexter. We had had some interesting, if lurid, times together in the past, but his charms had faded into insignificance once I had found Dexter.
I waved at him.
He looked right through me.
What? That wasn’t like him. Eventually he could no longer pretend not to have noticed me and came over. I introduced him to Dexter and they shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. He was acting really odd. What was wrong with him? He eventually wandered off, and Dexter and I went for a tour around the venue. It was small, the playrooms were fairly cramped, and a wave of heat hit you, as did the smell of sex, as you walked through the door. There was that sexy lady. She was an interesting woman. Shaven headed, but extremely feminine in a floral dress (most probably with no underwear underneath.) She was curvy, almost heavy set, but she exuded an extraordinary powerful sexiness that was evident to anyone who was around her, something that no supermodel could possibly compete with her for. She was also slightly unapproachable. As much as I was attracted to her, I found her a little intimidating. She made me feel unworthy in her presence. It was not unusual to see this woman standing on a table, surrounded by men and women alike, just feeling privileged to touch and pleasure this incredibly sexy Diva. Dexter acknowledged her allure too.
In the small room all eyes were on Dexter, the women were eating him up with their eyes. I didn’t mind. I was proud.

Oh there was my monster dick friend! He was trying to get his huge member into the mouth of a very pretty Eastern European looking girl. He was not succeeding. Arousal was a curse for this man. He could only receive head when limp. Either that or find someone with a huge mouth.
Dexter leaned over and nodded his acknowledgement of his fellow brethrens endowment. It was impressive to behold.
Dexter was being propositioned left right and centre, but he was having a hard time getting aroused. I thought I had best leave him to it. Maybe my presence was inhibiting him. I would give him some space.
I went to the bar to get a drink. I texted my big dick friend. Where was he? I couldn’t see him in the club. He was worth a chat at least.
He replied that he had left. Now that was very unlike him. Surely he wasn’t sulking?
A week or two later he would text me and tell me that he had been jealous of how I was around Dexter, that he never saw me look that way at him! Why should I? I had never loved him. I think that his ego could not cope with the fact that I would chose someone else over him, what use was his big dick if it didn’t get him the girl? Not that I was under any illusion that this man had any feelings of any kind for me, it was just that he was used to being the centre of his universe and I wasn’t playing the game.  Silly man! It didn’t matter how huge his manhood was, it couldn’t make me feel about him the way I felt about Dexter. Anyhow, big dick man had his lovely wife at home. What was he doing being jealous over someone he had only fucked?

I wandered over to Queen of Sheba. We stood and chatted for ages. We swapped stories about a certain man on scene called Luvyouall  who thought he was the bees-knees, but we both knew differently. This man was nothing more than a dirty opportunist, who couldn’t hold down a relationship in the ‘real world’ so had to settle for conquests on scene.
I had previously given Sheba the number of a nineteen stone muscle-bound, submissive man who I had played with in the past. He was just her type. Turns out they had linked up, but he had freaked out when he had woken up to find a slave collar around his neck. He panicked and ran. When she told me that, I almost wet myself.  Ooh poor Jeremiah!

I opened the door to see a huge, dark man standing before me. Bald,  baby face, around six foot five. To anyone who didn’t know him, he would have certainly been intimidating, but I knew better. This man was a pussycat. We had met at a swinging club where he was the bouncer and I was very bored with my companion. He gave me his number and I had called him.
Here he was, for my delectation.
He came into my room. I smiled as I noticed that he had to duck to get into the doorway and had to turn sideways to fit through the doorframe. Damn! This man was huge! He made me feel dainty in comparison, not easy when you are a good size 16, like me.
For all his bulk he seemed really nervous. He told me how he really loved the Incredible Hulk. How sweet, I thought, but then I realised he wasn’t talking about his childhood hero here, he actually thought he could emulate him as an adult. I wondered if that’s why he was so big. I wondered also if he realised that the Incredible Hulk was a fictional character?
I’ve never really been a fan of muscle men, and this man was no exception. But there was something about him that fascinated me. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was, but I was soon to find out. .
He stripped down to his underwear and stood before me waiting to see my reaction.
Well now, he was a big boy. Too big really .He didn’t really get the reaction he was waiting for as I burst out laughing. Was he really wearing a Superman thong?  I teased him and said that I bet his dick was small as he had clearly been pumping himself full of steroids to get all that bulk, and we all knew the side effects of those drugs on a man’s endowment. He looked hurt and showed me that I was wrong. He was big all over. I can’t deny that the sex was good. He absolutely loved the fact that I was a squirter and insisted on me sitting on his face despite my protestations. I didn’t want to drown him. But he seemed to love that prospect even more. The more he coughed and spluttered and choked, the more he liked it. He would tug away at his dick while he gave me orgasm after orgasm. After a while, I thought it was time to do a bit of vanilla sex, good old fashioned fucking. But no, that’s not what he wanted. He much preferred to stick to oral. I thought that was a bit odd, as most men see oral as a necessary evil before they get to penetrate; clearly not this dude! At one point when I was giving him head he asked me to stick my finger in his ass. Not a problem usually. But given the size of this man, I wasn’t sure I could reach around! I told him I was going to go one better. As he got closer to the point of no return,, I told him that I was going to organise someone to fuck him in the ass next time he came to see me. That was all he needed. That pushed him right over the brink and he reached orgasm with ferocity.
An evil plan was brewing in my head.
I had realised that his huge man was submissive, and enjoyed being told what to do. I knew I could never physically dominate him given his bulk, so I knew instinctively that  I had to dominate him mentally. I asked him as he got up to leave, what was going to happen next time we met?(by now he was calling me Mistress)
He said “Someone’s gonna fuck me in the ass Mistress”
“And who’s that going to be?” I asked.
“Don’t know Mistress, some girl with a strap on Mistress”
I slapped him.
Hard.
In the face and retorted:
“Don’t be foolish bitch!  It’s going to be a man, a big strong man with a big fat dick”
(I was enjoying myself now, I was in full improvisational flow and loving the buzz it was giving me)
“But I’m not gay Mistress!”
(I could hear the panic in his voice which urged me on even more.)
“I know” I said with an evil glint in my eye. “That’s the whole point .You are going to do as you are told aren’t you, slave? Be a good slave and Mistress will reward you”.
“Yes, Mistress, I’ll be good.”

It was at that point that I realised just how much pleasure I could derive from taking the Dominant role. It gave me an incredible buzz, thinking on my feet, trying to keep one step ahead in the game. I wasn’t really being serious about organising a man to fuck the Incredible Hulk. Or was I? I did make the call to a man I knew who would be more than willing to help me out. He would have been very happy to oblige, but I thought I preferred the mind fuck more than the real fuck.
The next time Incredible Hulk came to see me; he sat in his car outside my apartment for an hour before he could summon up the courage to come upstairs. I couldn’t tell if he was relieved or disappointed when he didn’t meet another man. Things fizzled out for me soon after as I got bored. I needed more mental stimulation with my sex.  So I passed him on to my good friend Sheba. And the rest is history.

Dexter sauntered out of the playroom looking pleased with himself. He went to buy us ladies a drink and came back and told me how he had been singled out by the most desired woman in the room. She was a drop dead gorgeous dark haired beauty who was sitting in a corner picking her ‘victims’. Dexter bashfully related how despite her being stunning, the fella downstairs just wasn’t going to perform on demand. To be honest, I didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed on his behalf. I knew that the opportunities for him to play were far greater than they were for me at this club. The men there were not to my standard, and although some of the women were lovely, it wasn’t altogether obvious whether they would appreciate advances from another woman and to be honest, they were being kept more than busy by all the men. We left after a while. I think Dexter enjoyed himself far more than I did. It was more of a social event for me. Hmm, it was odd going to a swinging club with someone you loved.
I wasn’t sure if I was going to know how to behave in future visits. Being in love and ‘on scene’ was proving to be far more complicated than I had expected.

August 24th
In between having fun at the swinging clubs, I still find myself confused. I don’t understand why no one wants me. I’m a good person, decent cook, kind, clearly attractive, fairly intelligent, and funny at times, and of course, experienced in the bedroom. Why do I keep getting overlooked? Can’t anyone see the person beneath?
I wish things were simple. I still find myself caught up in stupid acting out behaviours, despite having periods of calm sanity. I wish I could do something about it. Dexter tries his best, but he’s too close for objectivity. I find it hard to explain about my abusive past being the cause of my irrational behaviour without seeming to be making lame excuses. I think I need professional help.

September 1st
I think I have found someone who will listen to me at last. I have had a few conversations online with one man who is an ex-psychiatrist. He didn’t say why he doesn’t practise any more, I think it’s through choice but he messaged me on the site. I’ve been having deep conversations with him and he has never mentioned sex and has listened intently and responded when I spoke about my sex addiction. He has offered to listen and advise me over dinner, so I am going to travel to his place tomorrow to give it a go. Fingers crossed that he can fix this mess I call me.
Pm
Oh God, I just called Dexter because I was excited about the potential of fixing my craziness. Maybe if I can fix me he will have me? I think that’s what I was hoping. I know that sounds dumb, but Diary, you know I can’t hide anything from you. Trouble is, Dexter doesn’t seem to share my enthusiasm. What’s a matter with this man? Gosh, his stubbornness is annoying! Can’t he see I’m trying to improve myself? He hasn’t told me not to go, he never tells me what to do, but I can hear that he really isn’t happy about my going. He keeps going on about it being an ego boost that I’m planning travelling all the way out to this man. He kept saying that dude would expect sex after I made such an effort to get to his abode. What was he going on about? It’s just dinner and a chat; this man is doing me a favour. I had no intention of sleeping with him.
I think that Dexter must be jealous.
If that is the case, good!
He’s not going to stop me.
It’s odd though, I’m sure that was disappointment I heard in his voice…

October 2nd
Mood : crushed/defeated
Diary, don’t look at me! I’m so ashamed. Why didn’t I listen to Dexter? He called me when I was on the long train journey to get to dude’s place, clearly not happy that I had committed to this venture.
Am I such a fool?
He met me at his doorstep, a large framed, mixed race, average looking bald headed man, not ugly but certainly not my type (not that that mattered as I was there for advice).

Firstly, dinner turned out to be take-away from the local Indian. (He had earlier offered to cook dinner for me.) I should have suspected things from that point on. But I was blinded by hope, this man had promised me answers, he held the holy grail of my salvation, or so I thought.
Then he listened while I told him things about my past that I’m not prepared to share with you yet Diary, maybe later; things that led me to the inner turmoil that I am trying to deal with right now.
So after opening my heart up to a perfect stranger, hoping and expecting answers, he told me that he could only counsel me a bit at a time, I had to know that was the way counselling worked .It was done in short sessions and I would have to come back a few times in order to get to the bottom of things.
Despite my begging for answers, he pled professional responsibility and ethics as his defence and left me feeling frustrated, let down and duped.

I didn’t believe him. The truth was slowly dawning on me that I had made a bad mistake. But there I was in a strange man’s house, vulnerable, far away from home. I was now starting to wonder if this ‘ex psychiatrist’ may have been struck off for unethical practise, or maybe he just wasn’t a psychiatrist at all.
Silly, naïve me.
He asked me to choose a movie from his extensive DVD collection. I did so: Donnie Darko, I’d always wanted to watch that. He decided my choice was not suitable (huh?) and selected one for me that he thought made for better viewing.
Now I was starting to feel really uncomfortable. I had been involved with controlling men before and this didn’t sit right with me. This felt rather too familiar.
It turned out to be a boring and tedious vampire film and I sat, blindly staring at the movements on the screen, confused and uneasy and just a little scared.  While I pretended to watch the film, he snored, oblivious to my boredom and discomfort. Why was this man sleeping in my presence? Was I that insignificant?
As he slept, the more concerned I became.
I retreated into myself and started to shut down.
My old habit of self-preservation had kicked in; I could do nothing to stop it. Reality became dimmed, dreamlike. I relinquished responsibility for my actions and myself. I placed myself numbly in fates’ hands. My body was present, sitting on a sofa with a snoring, middle-aged man next to me, but my mind had taken leave. When he awoke and pressed himself against me, claiming his reward for being such a selfless philanthropist, I didn’t argue. I felt too unimportant and too ashamed to have the right to a voice. His fumblings were clumsy but mercifully brief. His climax startled me back to dingy reality. Despite my lack of presence during this soulless act, I automatically checked for the condom. It was there.
Old habits die hard.
I left, muttering empty words of gratitude (why? he didn’t deserve them) feeling violated, foolish and even more damaged than when I had first arrived. I sat in the taxi and was quiet and reflective on the long journey home.
It was at that point that it dawned on me why he wasn’t a practising psychiatrist anymore. It was then that I need Dexter more than ever, but now I doubted that he would ever want me after this. The taxi couldn’t get me back home fast enough.
Mortified, crushed, belittled, humiliated, stupidly unworthy, who would ever want someone like me? Clearly ‘psychiatrist’ had seen me coming and I had fallen straight headfirst into his pathetic, obvious trap. I must have victim stamped all over my forehead.
I need to get away.
Please hide me, world!



et cetera