insidesuzyssoul











{October 3, 2011}   Some people are strange

Just received this email . It was from Dan of Dan and Anna. How odd. I’ll let Dan tell his own story.

 

Hi,

This email has been a long while in coming.

SHORT VERSION
I’m sending this out to a fair few people, mostly good people, who I have come into
contact with over time through several chat rooms and swing sites.
To get to the point quickly for those who want to get on, I just wanted to say that
there are no meetings or arrangements of the type discussed in messenger or any other
chat room – there never have been. Its all fantasy and imagination, made up stuff and
on the fly reactions to various thoughts and suggestions which were proposed by
people during chats.
It is true that we have been into swinging some while but its actually my wife who is
in control and calls the shots on that side of things. She has always had a huge
sexual energy and swing clubs allow her to express herself in that and is how we got
into the scene.

Some people will be rather annoyed at this truth but there are also those too that
chatted from the same fantasy and role play perspective who were aware that no matter
how well played out the chats were, this was all unreal storytelling.

I would like to apologise for the time taken up by the various chats and
conversations, some of which were rather bizarre or over the top and some with a
darker bdsm type theme and scenario that of course never happened, never took place
and were total figments of imagination and beyond reality.

For the short part of the email thats it, finished – time to move on.
All the chatroom and profiles will be closed down and this email address will be
closed within a week and this letter is my beginning of closure on this chapter of
one of my particular life challenges –
Its been hard to do, necessary and no turning back and I hope no chats have caused anyone any issues.
I wish you well in your ventures and adventures and hope life treats you well.

EXTRA DETAILS FOR THOSE THAT WANT TO KNOW:
The short version above couldn’t hope to give much background or detail, and so for
those who want to know more and understand, and who themselves may be caught up in a
similar “addiction” to chat rooms and and the discussion of sexual themes, and how
that can snowball into crazy type chats totally out of character, I wanted to explain
as briefly as I could, how I got caught up on this originally.

CHATROOM ADDICTION:
It was once suggested to me last year that I maybe addicted to chat rooms and the
discussion of sexual themes and encounters. At the time it was a thought that I had
never considered but since this was mentioned, I have come to see the similarity in
other addictions.

QUICK HISTORY:
My wife and I are one of the easiest going and outgoing couples you could know and we
have been pretty much happily married for 10 years now and together for 14 years.
Contrary to the chatroom talks, she is the one in control – she has always had a lot
of sexual energy and it was her desire to go to a swing club years ago.
This brought us into contact with swing sites and chat rooms. This was a great social
setup and we can say that we have had some amazing times and been privileged to have
met with some wonderful people over the years, in the UK and abroad.
The swing sites and chatrooms helped get people together for parties and we were
having a great time.

CHANGES:
Things changed 2 years ago when my wife suffered a serious condition that
meant she couldnt work and was no longer able to function in social situations.
So severe was this issue that she contemplated ending her life and as things spiralled out of control she needed hospitalisation for
several months.

Visiting her every day for months in the hospital was distressing and was a huge drain over time.
Various other events during this time took things down even further.
I became a bit of a recluse, withdrawing from any social stuff and barely even seeing close friends or
family. I was using just about all energies to ensure my wife was supported and I was taking care of everything.

This awful, lonely and depressing period of time was when I found myself more and
more being drawn to chat rooms – where In the chatrooms I could communicate and
express myself for a while and let out thoughts and feelings. It was during these
dark days that various fantasies and outpourings were expressed with strangers in
chatrooms and various conversations regards sexy meets were brought up.
Some of those conversations could drift towards extreme or bizarre and all the while
I hid the fact that my poor wife was very ill and we were no longer on the scene.

PICTURES:
Another area of expression for me that was borne out of this dark period, was that
being an artist, I used my skills to amend various images I found on the internet of
attractive ladies to make them look like home made photos – pretending that they were
of my wife or us at a party etc.

I have to say that looking back I believe the chatrooms actually helped me to get through a
tough and difficult period in our life during a time when my wife was unable to do anything for
herself and I was very much alone and in pain.
After a stressful work day, piling finacial issues and a visit to the hospital, it
seems that having at least some sort of outlet had its place – and the chatrooms
became that place.
I have no real vices, dont drink dont smoke dont do drugs, dont gamble – chat rooms
became the vice and an addiction.

MOVING ON:
My wife has made what seems to be a full recovery, its been a long slow haul and has
drained us of much energies. This recovery actually happened last year however, the
“addiction” didn’t end once she was better. I was still using chatrooms.

Where once the chatrooms were an outlet, a crutch or place to shed pent up emotions
or stress for a chap with troubles, where they had helped me get through some bad
times and seved a purpose, they had now become a burden on energy and time.

We both have great jobs in the city, the future seems bright, she’s got way more
energy than me and yes she’s been needing to indulge her desires, and now it’s time for
things to move on – let go of the tie that has formed between me and chatrooms.
In the same way as an alcoholic must abstain, so too must I.

Im not expecting replies to this email as it is intended as closure on a period of
time, and to give insight for those that might be experiencing anything similar but I will be leaving this old email and messenger online for a week more before closing it
down for good and deleting everything.

Its been hard to do, a necessary step and no turning back and I hope none of the chats have ever caused anyone any issues.

best wishes, thanks for listening, now and in the past and I wish you well for the future.

all the best

Dan

Advertisements


{August 30, 2011}   The Joy of Threesomes

Two female, one male, oral threesome sex posit...

Image via Wikipedia

Dexter talks about the ups and downs and complications of every man’s fantasy:  a threesome with two women.

I can’t believe this is happening.
I have two sexy women sucking on my dick. This is the kind of thing most men fantasize about but right now this is my reality.
I previously had a threesome a while back in my late teens, nineteen, I think to be exact, with two little cuties; one brunette, the other blonde.
Amanda was the brunette; we had slept with each other a few times in the past so it wasn’t like she had anything I hadn’t seen.
She was very much into me but she was aware that I wasn’t the type to be settling down with, as I was accustomed to having more than just one woman in my life. If it were up to her she would have had me to herself but she was more than willing to share me rather than not have me at all.
Emma was the blonde. I’ve always had a preference for dark haired women but wouldn’t turn down a cute blonde if she came my way ,let’s just say I wouldn’t chase them.
Was Emma really attracted to me? To be honest I’m not sure. I think she was more attracted to my street credibility rather than my looks.
Around my area I was known as a ‘Lover man/Gangster’. The first part I can understand as I was fortunate enough to have had plenty girls in my time, especially around this area but as for the gangster tag I had attained?  I’m not sure how that came about. I wasn’t someone to be taken lightly by anyone thinking to oppose me but I was hardly a gun-toting gangster. But who am I to dispute the title as the reputation I had struck fear into those I didn’t like and warned off potential future enemies.
As for that encounter with Amanda and Emma, let’s just say the idea, vision, notion, whatever you want to call it, was better than the real thing.
I had never been so excited and nervous at the same time. I had had plenty of girls but never two at the same time before.
Despite my previous confidence in most situations, I was full of anxiety. Would I be able to satisfy two girls?
Well, time to find out!
We were in Amanda’s bedroom when it all began.

 Now before I go any further, I have to say that I truly believe that in order to have a successful threesome, the two women involved should be bi-sexual or at least bi-curious. I now know this but unfortunately didn’t know it at the time. Hindsight is a useless thing isn’t it?

Lets just say it was hardly a threesome, more like “Let’s run a train* on Dexter” as both girls were apprehensive to interact with each other sexually. I had seen them kiss each other a few days previously; that was how they had got me to agree to this in the first place.
It started with Amanda sitting on my face and Emma giving me head. Damn, that was fun! I had only just discovered the joys of eating pussy. As a young black male of Jamaican heritage, you’re taught from an early age that eating pussy is something that real men don’t do, so I had put it off for ages. Man, do I regret that!
Anyway it was all going well at this stage, time for the penetration. I strapped on a condom then pounded Amanda from behind. Every now and then I’d take a look at Emma, I could she her eyes beaming full of anticipation. It was clear that she wanted her turn sooner rather than later and I was more than willing to give it to her.
After giving Amanda a nice pounding, it was time for Emma. I strapped on another condom, kissed her then laid her on her back. As I entered her, she let out a slight yelp. I’m not sure if she had had a dick as big as mine up till that point. I threw her legs over my shoulders and went to work. I love to penetrate deep but I could see that she was having a hard time taking my size so I resorted to shallow strokes. She loved that.
As she grew in confidence and became more comfortable, I could feel her pussy loosen up and that’s when I went for the kill. Here’s my chance to get maximum pleasure and do what I do best: penetrate deep.
She was being pounded and loving it too but at the same time I could feel some kind of tension. I looked at Amanda and her facial expression wasn’t excitement like Emma had exhibited watching us, it was jealously!
She tried to hide it with a nervous smile but I could see straight through it.

Do I stop out of consideration or continue? I’m so close to climax and Emma is enjoying herself, why should I stop? We don’t have any emotional attachments… Fuck it! I’m close to cumming and I don’t want this to end any time soon.

As I thrust I could see the bliss on Emma’s face, she was now begging me to cum so I obliged. Damn, that felt good! Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all. I was just getting warmed up. Round two was just around the corner.
 I suggested that the two girls do a little something while I recovered but only if they were up for it. I thought Amanda might have said no but hoped that the jealousy that I had detected earlier had passed.
Both girls shrugged their shoulders as if to imply yes, then leaned forward to kiss each other. This was the kind of thing I had only seen in porn videos. I had always wondered what it would be like to see it for real. Now it was really happening right before my eyes.  
They kissed just like they had done in the park a few days earlier, then Emma began to kiss Amanda’s neck then slowly make her way down to her breasts.
The look on Amanda’s face wasn’t bliss, maybe she was just nervous?  I wish! That wasn’t bliss. That look was pure jealously and resentment.
It was clear from that point that she had regretted ever putting the idea forward, but she couldn’t blame either me or Emma as it was a situation of her own making.
Emma stopped kissing as she could sense Amanda’s unease. Now that was what I call an uncomfortable silence. What happens next?
By this time my dick had recovered. I thought maybe I should start round two but quickly realised that would only make matters worse so I said something real lame like,
 “Maybe we should get dressed before Amanda’s mum comes home?”
fully knowing that she wasn’t going to return for sometime. I had to say something to ease the tension in that room.
At that point in my life I used to carry a pager. It went off. Thank God, I thought. It was my best friend. The message wasn’t at all urgent but I pretended that it was so I could make a quick exit.
As I walked down the road, I thought back to the encounter. I tried to remember just the good parts but somehow the bad out-weighed the good.
Seems that kiss was a smoke-screen, as it was clear that these two girls weren’t at all bisexual.  Maybe I was  being harsh, maybe they were bi-curious but just uncomfortable to be doing it with each other as they were very good friends. I have to admit that I’d feel funny being stark naked in front of my best friend.
We were only nineteen years of age and this was the first experience of a threesome for all of us. Maybe we could try again? No such luck, as the experience seemed to put a dampener on Amanda and Emma’s friendship for good.
That was never my intention and I’m sure it wasn’t Amanda’s either. I guess being at that age they weren’t mature enough to realise that it was nothing more than what it was: just sex.  A single sexual encounter shouldn’t come between friends especially if all involved were up for it.

Back to the present, this gal Stacey took ages to reach Suzy’s apartment. In all honesty I didn’t think she was going to show up.
It must have been after midnight and she still was on the other side of the river.
It was damn near one am before she actually reached our neck of the woods. Have to say I had some serious butterflies fluttering around in my stomach at this point.
Now almost twenty seven, it had been a while since my last piece of three way action.
How was this going to pan out? Not in the way I’d imagined.
As Stacey parked her car outside, Suzy stepped outside to greet her. This was finally going to happen, no time for bullshit now.
As she stepped through the door I have to admit she wasn’t what I’d expected. Maybe it’s because she hadn’t really made an effort with her appearance.
Didn’t really matter as I knew Suzy would have her naked sooner rather than later.
Stacey was a caramel skin black girl with a size sixteen figure, very cute facial features.
Big breasts with a classic big ass, just the way we both like them, lets just say she was a diamond in the rough.
Suzy went off to the kitchen to fetch some tea. Stacey and I engaged in some small talk.
By this time all initial nerves had totally disappeared. I was beginning to enjoy this encounter This time around; I was dealing with two grown women and not two insecure teenagers.
Suzy came back with the tea and we all chatted for a bit. It wasn’t long before Suzy’s hands began to wander all over our ‘victim’s’ body.
Stacey wasn’t shy at all and returned the favour with vigour to say the least. Damn, she was aggressive!
I know that Suzy likes to be the aggressor when it comes to women but Stacey had other plans it seemed.
At this point I could feel my dick swelling up, to the ladies surprise as well as my own. I stripped naked and made my way over to the bed where they were playing.
Not sure what came over me, I was as horny as fuck!
Suzy had made Stacey aware that I could be a slow starter as I was often shy in these situations. They both couldn’t believe I was the first person to get stark naked but were clearly delighted.
They were very happy to see my manhood in its full glory. I had some very naughty things in mind and this was the time to act them out.
To begin with it was Suzy and I going down on Stacey. She enjoyed that.
It was pretty clear that although she enjoyed oral she was more of a penetration gal,  that was when things would get interesting.
At this point in time I had yet to purchase Suzy’s strap on that she now loves so much! I wasn’t totally sure if Suzy was cool with me fucking another woman.
She had told me earlier she was cool with that but sometimes people say things they don’t mean.
I couldn’t help but think that way, especially after my other encounter with the two teenagers so many years ago.
I had a lot more to lose if this fucked up. Amanda was merely a fuck buddy for want of a better word; Suzy on the other hand was my partner who I had fallen for. I’d be damned if a moment of horny madness was going to fuck up the best relationship I’d ever had.
At this point Stacey had begun to interact with me a lot more. She was bi -sexual after all.
She wanted dick bad! My dick was rock hard.
Before I knew it both women were sucking on my dick. This was unreal!
Even though we had planned this for the past week or so, it seemed so surreal.
To have two sexually aggressive women not fighting but sharing my dick was absolute bliss. It didn’t get much better than this.
Despite the amazing visual, I have to say that Stacey’s dick sucking was quite rough. I’m not a fan of teeth grating.
How do you tell someone you’ve just met that their skills are not up to par?
I tried to concentrate on the incredible visual and not the actual feeling. Suzy’s skills seriously compensated for the inept attempt made by Stacey.
Stacey was on all fours. Suzy went behind her and went to work with her hands.
At this point I knew that Stacey would want to be fucked. What would happen when that time came around? I didn’t need to worry. I wasn’t aware that Suzy had four fingers inside her. Stacey was blissful.
With almost a whole hand inside her and a dick in her mouth she made muffled groaning sounds.
I was getting turned on by the look on Stacey’s face but what happened next was something you couldn’t make up.
As Suzy pulled her hand out of Stacey I saw red, her hand was covered in blood.
Not just a little blood, lots of it. I was stunned.
It was hard to believe that this much blood could come out of her with no pain involved. She appeared to be in total bliss and her period wasn’t supposed to be due for quite some time, that’s why we had planned that particular date.
Suzy looked concerned. Stacey must have seen the look on my face because she suddenly turned around. Suzy had already wiped the blood off on a towel before Stacey could see the full extent of the situation.
As Suzy told her, I thought she’d be upset, but to my surprise she seemed embarrassed. She looked mortified.
She kept apologising, for what I’m not sure. At this point we all knew that the prospect of her getting some dick had gone right out of the window.
We all went to the bathroom so she could clean up. As she bathed she seemed to be amazed by the way Suzy and I communicated so openly. She kept telling us how special we were. We should have seen the signs by this point.
She dried herself with a towel and got dressed. We assumed that she’d have another cup of tea before she hit the road.
That wasn’t to be the case. It was around half past three in the morning at this point.
As soon as she had finished her tea she made a move on Suzy again. We were amazed by her gusto and appetite for sex. We seriously thought we’d found a gem.
She took her clothes off and went at it. I quickly joined in.
Lots of sucking and licking was going on. As she was aware that she couldn’t have any dick she was willing to sit back and watch the two of us fuck.
To be honest, she insisted we fuck. She wanted to witness first hand what she would be getting next time we linked up. She loved watching the smooth wave motion of my arse. She was licking her lips with anticipation at our next meet. As far as she was concerned she’d be getting hard cock as well as a strap on next time around.
I pulled out and came on Suzy’s stomach. Boy did Stacey like that! She began to rub my spunk into Suzy’s stomach like it was lotion. Damn, we had got a freak on our hands here!
Time was moving on swiftly, I looked at my phone display. It was damn near half five in the morning and I had work that same day. .
At this point she had got dressed again, we assumed she’d be on her way in the next twenty minutes, surely? Wrong again! This girl was like the Duracell bunny!
She got undressed again and went to work on Suzy.  I didn’t even attempt to get involved this time around. I was too tired.
Believe it or not, she didn’t leave till after seven in the morning. We should have kicked her out but I guess we didn’t want her to think we were lightweight or being ungracious hosts.
Wasn’t long before Suzy and I fell asleep, but to our surprise this girl gave us a call about an hour later to tell us what a great time she had had.
Bloody hell! Surely she could have waited until later?

The week that followed was an eye-opener. She bombarded us with text messages and phone calls. Initially I didn’t see a problem with it. As far as I was concerned we had found a regular freak that would come running anytime we called her.
You ask any couple on scene and they will tell you that that’s what they are looking for: a regular single bi female playmate. I’d say ninety five percent will never find that on scene, they can only dream about it.
We had found a real Unicorn and I didn’t want to scare her off, so I humoured her phone calls.
Suzy became irritated. She wasn’t impressed with another woman ringing her man’s mobile phone as frequently as Stacey did.  At first I couldn’t see her point. She was no threat to our relationship at all as far I as was concerned. She was nothing more than a fuck buddy, what was the big deal? As days went by and the phone calls became more frequent, reality hit me.
 She had more than admiration for the relationship Suzy and I shared, she wanted to be a part of it.
She was well aware she couldn’t have a one on one relationship with either one of us so she thought she’d plonk herself squarely in the middle. I love women, but not that much! I’d be damned if this woman was going to demand the same emotional attention and commitment from me that I provided for Suzy. That wasn’t part of the deal. If she needed a boyfriend she’d have to go elsewhere. We were prepared to give her good sex and conversation but that was it. We didn’t have anything more to offer her, or any other single bi gal that came our way.
She asked to meet us on Christmas Eve; my answer was a blunt NO! She got the message at that point.

She didn’t call back for ages. Shame really, as we did like her, but her emotional demands were far too excessive for the likes of us.
She called me quite sometime later, must have been a good five months later. She was well aware that she had to cool it with the phone calls.
We didn’t talk sex at all. I wouldn’t allow the conversation to go that route. By then, Suzy and I had made up our minds that we wouldn’t be meeting her again.
We spoke about life in general before I cut the conversation off completely. No more than two minutes after I had terminated our chat, she sent a text message:
 Damn you’re sexy. Whenever the two of you want round two just call and I’ll come running!
If only she knew we’d never call.

* ‘run a train’ = gang bang, many people taking turns in having sex with one person.



et cetera