insidesuzyssoul











{August 6, 2011}   Dexters thoughts on the ‘Shrink’. Diary entry number 2

I told you so

Image by H4NUM4N via Flickr

As the months have passed, I have noticed a pattern with Suzy; she often throws her ‘sexploits’ in my face with a huge grin to boot.
On the other hand, if I so much as received a text message from Ansu or any other girl for that fact, simply asking how I was doing, Suzy’s face and mood would change dramatically. She’d go from being cheerful to moody and jealous.
This was the same woman who would brag about seeing a number of men in the week but yet she couldn’t handle a simple text message that consisted of no sexual content whatsoever.
It seemed to me that she told me of her weekly sex activities to get a rise out of me, like I was supposed to be hurt, or something.
The only person she was hurting was herself, she was just too blind to see it.

When I first met her she came across as a woman on top of her game. As time went by I realised she was no different from the girls I knew as a teenager; those same girls who thought that fucking untold amounts of men would somehow gain them respect or street credibility. If only they knew what people were saying about them behind their back?
It was hard for me to believe that this woman, who often spoke with such knowledge and wisdom, could be so foolish when it came to men and sex.
She wasn’t in control of what was happening at all, she had dudes calling the house ‘phone and all sorts. It’s a cardinal sin to give out your house number if you’re going to play the game.

Suzy would often go out of her way to meet certain dudes, what kind of woman has to go out of her way for sex? That’s what men do!
A woman in control has the power to make the men she is seeing grovel at her feet, not the other way around. I became increasingly annoyed with her behaviour. At least the previous woman with the ill husband had control over whom she met.
Suzy let the men in her life run the show and take advantage of her. She often wondered why, after a period of time, I would start to avoid her and not visit her as frequently. I hated to see a woman make a fool of herself. A teenage girl I could understand, but a woman in her thirties with the responsibility of setting an example for her two daughters just didn’t sit well with me.

It was odd to me how Suzy was a woman with life experience but yet totally oblivious to what men were capable of doing in order to get what they wanted.
She was like a breath of fresh air to me with a vast knowledge at her disposal, at other times she came across as the “dumbest smart person” alive which would tickle my brain often.
Suzy had often told me that she suspected she had a sex addiction and may one day need help to get rid of this problem.
At that point I should have run away screaming.
Unfortunately for me I couldn’t just walk away. I had developed feelings for this woman. She was more important than a fuck buddy. She had now become my friend.

Suzy began to notice that sex wasn’t always on the cards as it had been previously. We spent a lot more time on the phone rather than in the bed, she didn’t like this one bit. She got the idea that I was being all high and mighty, that I was taking the moral high ground. She was wrong; I just didn’t want to be part of the problem.

As weeks went by things became clearer, she would often call me crying her eyes out. Some dude who she thought was a friend had just done her wrong and she had no idea why!
She needed answers so I gave them to her. She didn’t like hearing the truth but she had to hear it from somebody and it was unlikely that any other man in her life would tell her.
I think she saw my notions as judgmental and sexist; that wasn’t the case at all. It was just the truth. I should have knowledge of how men think, as I’m a man myself.
I’ve been on both sides of the scale, the not so successful to the very successful, I’m more than qualified to give my opinion, if she didn’t want to hear the truth then she shouldn’t have asked.

As time went by she began to let casual sex partners go.
One by one they all fell by the wayside but not without first telling Suzy exactly what they thought of her.
A man will often show his true colours when he’s been dumped. If he has integrity he’ll take it on the chin and walk away. If he acts like a child and throws insults then chances are he had been playing you for a dummy the whole time; you just weren’t able to see it.

Recently, Suzy told me she had met a guy online who just so happened to be a shrink. He had offered to help her find the answers to her problems free of charge.
She seemed really excited at the prospect of meeting this dude but didn’t understand why I didn’t share her same enthusiasm.
A first I kept quiet and didn’t say anything as it wasn’t my place to tell her what to do. She badgered me to tell her.  I had no choice to say what was on my mind.
I told her straight: “Its nothing more than “game”. Do you honestly believe you’re going to travel to the outskirts of London to receive this so-called treatment and not give anything in return? Trust me when I say he’ll expect sex as his payment. You don’t believe me? Then go ahead and make the journey! His ego is already boosted at the fact you’re making the long trip anyhow. No woman should go out of her way to meet a man. He knows this but unfortunately you haven’t learnt that lesson yet have you?”
Yet again she took my words as a sexist swipe. I hate to say it and run the risk of sounding arrogant, but I’m never wrong when it comes to men’s intentions.

Since the age of 17 many of my female friends would come to me for advice, often asking me about the sexual behaviour of young men. They seemed to think, even at that age, that I was equipped to answer those questions due the reputation I had gained.
They would often sit in silence digesting every word I said. My words were blunt but nonetheless the truth.
Once I had finished my piece, they would often turn to me and slate me for being Mr. Know-it-all.
“You’re nothing but a playa anyhow; what the fuck do you know?” This was the reaction I got from nine out of ten girls, but  I would always end up having the last laugh.
I kid you not when I say they would all run back to me with their tails between their legs telling me how right I was! The girls that didn’t come back didn’t want to face the music. They were smart enough to know, unlike the ones that did come back, not to expect any form of compassion or sympathy from me. All you’ll ever get from me is a big fat “I TOLD YOU SO”.

That’s exactly what Suzy shall get after her visit with the so-called shrink. All she had to do to avoid looking a fool was heed my words. I shouldn’t even have to tell her exactly what to do; she should already know by now.

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